Games News! 20/03/2017

a warrior bird, a drugged thief, flamingo milk, correct toiletry
Lannister-Miniatures
Paul: Oh crikey, what a week it’s been. There’s been all sorts of news exploding out of GAMA, the Game Manufacturers Association trade show in Ohio, but probably the most significant of these was publisher CMON casually announcing that they’re kickstarting a tabletop miniatures game based on A Song of Ice & Fire. Yep, they’ve got a Game of Thrones wargame on the way. That’s quite the license to muscle in on and with the first box being a Stark vs. Lannister “Starter Set” there’s no doubt they have aspirations to grow this substantially.

Quinns: I might have just read too many Game of Thrones books, but this announcement seemed undercut with an amount of... intrigue.

Paul: What do you mean? MURDER?

Quinns: Oh god, no! Will you stop guessing that everyone's murdering one another?


Review: Diamant

Conversational sex act, Danny DeVito, No no no no no
IMG_1173
Paul: QUINTIN. I know we want to tell people all about Diamant and how this cute-but-cruel game of pushing your luck can make you either rich or dead, but I’ve got to say one thing right thing right here, right now, right off the bat. Right?

Quinns: I'll allow it!

Paul: Diamant is probably the most fun I’ve had for the least investment of time and energy SO FAR THIS YEAR. I’m so sorry. I just had to blurt that. It’s a petite wonder. PETITE. WONDER. Like… Danny DeVito. Or... a teabag?

Quinns: You’re arriving at this party a little late though, aren’t you? Last year I called Incan Gold the best little push-your-luck game I’d played in forever. Diamant is just a beautiful new edition of the same game! You can’t talk about it like you’ve just found a dead sea scroll in your back garden.

Paul: All right, all right, back that boulder up, snarkaeologist. Incan Gold? The 2006 game? And when did you come to it, exactly?

Quinns: Erm. 2016.

Paul: An entire decade of incompetence.


Update: Our Nonsense Box Kickstarter Just Got Sexier!

Make a sound effect using someone else's hand from another room
7e1fa28b9b847554a9932f291c1a6f61_original
Quinns: Hey everybody! With just seven days left on our Kickstarter for the Monikers Nonsense Box - a standalone expansion for Monikers written entirely by SU&SD staff - all backers now get a free gift!

Basically we reached 2,500 backers and decided we'd like to improve the product you guys were getting. Think of it as a kind of thank you for helping us to stretch past our original goal. We're calling this addition a "Girth Objective" and it's my guess that by 2020 every Kickstarter will have one.

As of this week every backer of the Nonsense Box Kickstarter will get a free pack of Hopelessly Stupid Fourth Round Cards. You see, Monikers is a game that starts off very pedestrian in round 1 and becomes marginally more interesting in round 2 before going completely insane in round 3. But as old Monikers pros will tell you, you can keep playing and the game gets dumber and funnier with every additional round. "Charades but under a bedsheet" has to be played to be believed.

We have a tenative list already drawn up, but we're well aware that you guys are often funnier and smarter than us in our comment threads. If you have an idea for a fourth round for Monikers, and would like to see it on a card with your name on it and a professional illustration, please leave a comment below!

Thanks so much, everyone. <3


Games News! 13/03/2017

hidden royalty, leverage your swans, sonar talents, jamiroquai, verdun
40dd561989ec4cbd0a067852bed4230b_original
Quinns: OH MY GOD YOU’RE BACK.

Paul: OH MY GOD I’M BACK.

Quinns: OH MY GOD.

Paul: Did I miss anything while I was aw-

Quinns: ONLY THE GIGANTIC RISING SUN KICKSTARTER, THE CAMPAIGN FOR THE GRIZZLED, THE BIG NEWS ABOUT RUNE WARS AND THIS CRAZY NEW MUSIC MIXING GAME.

Paul: …Were you eating properly while I was gone?


Games News! 06/03/2017

goose eggs, backwards walks, roaring roses, lamplight pizzling
Speak_Out_Kids_v._Parents_Lifestyle_phogze
Quinns: Hello everybody! So glad you could meet me here, at the Games News pub. It's my round! Who's for a pint of news? [points at you] News and soda, was it?

It's happy hour, so we're going to start out with a double news on the rocks. The nonsense-mongers at Hasbro have just unveiled two new games. Speak Out: Kids vs Parents is a familial evolution of their game Speak Out, both of which feature your team trying to work out what the hell you're saying while you wear a dentist's cheek retractor.

Doesn't that sound like a game we'd make up as part of a skit? I can only approve that Hasbro has made it a reality.

The press image for it (above) is freaking me out, though. The combination of Habro's clean-cut toy photography (which has always looked a little "uncanny valley" to me) with rictus grins is absolutely terrifying. Imagine coming downstairs and finding them in your living room. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME," bleats the mother, spraying spit across the room.


Review: Quartermaster General: 1914

oily eels, a kick in the rules-testicles, why is ireland even on the board, oh no
IMG_1794
Quinns: It can be lonely reviewing games by yourself. Matt and Paul might be at the Game Developer’s Conference, but I have a solution!

Matt's head made from papier-mâché: that’s because you're great quinns

Quinns: Ha ha, you flatter me! Let’s get down to business, Matt.

Matt's head made from papier-mâché: i love business

Quinns: Today we’re reviewing Quartermaster General 1914, the third (and most highly-rated) entry in the Quartermaster General series. Like Memoir ‘44, these games might look like stodgy wargames, but don’t be fooled! 1914 is a tricky, playful card game that lets you get stuck into the drama and anxiety of WAR without having to measure any distances or frown at charts.

Now, our site has said over and over again that there aren’t enough team-based board games -

Matt's head made from papier-mâché: oh goodness no, nowhere near enough

Quinns: Don't speak, you're getting flakes of glue on the table. So team play is exactly what the Quartermaster General series is all about. In our case, 1914 is a five player game where three frail players take on two wealthy ones. It’s a tremendously exciting hook, and we're just getting started.


GAMES NEWS! 27/02/17

Boring herbivores, exciting skeksis, the ruddy borg, hot hot hats
C5dAh9qWUAEhhGy
Quinns: Good morning sweet shut-upsters! Today is the start of a very solitary couple of weeks on the site. Paul and Matt have gone overseas to run our board game lounge at the yearly Game Developer's Conference, and then they're making a top-secret visit to a board game publisher. Like a lighthouse keeper I will be maintaining a lonely vigilAnd maybe talking to myself and going a bit mad. We'll see.

Speaking of maddening things, our top story this week is the above header image that was tweeted by BoardGameGeek. Looks boring, eh? WELL, you're actually looking at a prototype of Monolith's next project, Batman: The Board Game, and judging from the dice and stamina crystals it'll be an evolution of Conan, a miniatures game that this site loved to pieces.

This adaptation makes perfect sense! Conan's brutal choreography and breathless heroism would be perfect for Batman. But there's a problem that has me finding this announcement to be bittersweet.

Monolith's Kickstarters for Conan ($3.3 million) and then Mythic Battles ($2.6 million) have shown that they know how to run an exciting Kickstarter. Clearly, the page for Batman is going to make millions of dollars. But in addition to the sexism that's run across their games like an oil spill, in this pundit's opinion Monolith's been botching the post-release support that I've come to expect from expensive games.


Announcing the SU&SD Expansion for Monikers!

it's a box of fun, just put it in your pocket, slide it in
Quinns: Everybody, we've got a Kickstarter we'd like to point you towards! Do you all remember Monikers, the effortlessly funny and accessible party game? How would you like an expansion for it created ENTIRELY by the cast of Shut Up & Sit Down?

Ooh, yes! The Shut Up & Sit Down Nonsense Box (this is the link you click on) (click it!) is no less than 112 cards that were dreamed up and playtested by... us! We didn't get the memo that the card descriptions were only supposed to be informative, so we made those really funny too. Oops.

Don't have the Monikers base game? Not a problem. The Nonsense Box is a standalone game, or you can chuck the base game onto your pledge as an add-on.

A micro-FAQ follows, after the jump!


GAMES NEWS! 20/02/17

wooden spaceships, expensive tissues, carrot resources, werewords
Pasted image at 2017_02_20 10_41 AM
Paul: My goodness! We start the news this week with the continuing success story of Vlaada Chvátil and Czech Games. Two new, licensed versions of Codenames have been announced, themed around Marvel and Disney. Surprised?

I can’t say I’m ever likely to buy or play either of them, nor that I’m at all invested in the worlds of either of these entertainment giants, but I do see this as a wonderful way to bring different kinds of licensed games to more players, particularly families, beyond another bloody Monopoly, as well as for Czech Games to earn more well-deserved cash. If someone tells me, in twenty years, that they got into board games through trying to interpret obscure clues about Frozen characters, I’m going to be okay with that.

Okay, hold on, there is also comic potential here. I’m sure there’s all sorts of hilarious clues you can give if you want people to guess both a talking candlestick and a singing elephant, or something slightly sassy you can say about Spider-Man, Victoria Hand and Captain America. Maybe? I don’t actually know anything about comics. Is Garfield DC or Marvel?


Review: Honshu

horror-fallow, delicious finland, a lego boondoggle
IMG_1753
Quinns: Alright. You see Honshu, pictured above? You’re looking at one of the most desirable boxes on the planet.

The best thing to come out of Finland since karjalanpiirakat, Honshu made a name for itself during the American convention circuit last year. Contained in its small, peach-tone box are some cards and cubes, and contained within them is a simple card game, and contained within that are Japanese towns of your own design. Players draft cards and tuck them under and over one another in a gentle jigsaw, probing and pondering different arrangements, searching for a high score.

This site’s own Paul Dean was convinced after a quick play. So many people were convinced, in fact, that a publisher is finally bringing a shipment of Honshu to America next month.

But should you buy it? Ah, let me help you with that as a European, from the land where copies of this game are considered weeds, and I often have to throw away four or five mouldering copies of Honshu before my breakfast of limppu and kissel.

Honshu is good, but is it "SU&SD Recommends" good? Let’s find out.