Quinns: We’re awake! And alive! Shut Up & Sit Down is officially back in action, ready to spend another 12 months covering amazing board games. What new designs await us this year? What never-before-seen ideas will spring out and delight us?
Matt: What hellscape have you interrupted my slumber for? It’s 9am on a Monday morning and I’m looking at one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.
Quinns: Those are the goat entrails that I was reading, trying to divine what awaits us this year... Oh, no, sorry, that’s just Monopoly: Pizza edition.
On second thoughts, perhaps we shouldn’t waste our energy on chit-chat. We have a dense and fibrous stack of news to get through, you and I. We’re going to be bloated with announcements by the end of this. Stuffed with stats. Packed with press releases.
Let’s start with the smallest announcement and see how we fare, eh? I'm talking about the tiny towns of Tiny Towns.
Quinns: URGH. Bring too many and there’s no room in your bag for more games, bring too few I am reduced to a grumpy banshee, stalking the halls of my hotel and wondering why I have naught to play.
Matt: One of the games I’m definitely bringing is Keyforge, which Quinns and I are currently playtesting for our big, end-of-year blowout review.
And actually, that game made headlines this month.
Quinns: I just woke up and WHY IS THERE CREAM EVERYWHERE
...Cream, but also news. Let's get stuck in.
Matt: The news waits for nobody, Quinns. How many stories did we miss while you were unconscious?
Quinns: I don’t know? It’s hard to think while you’re in my bedroom and kneeling on my chest
Matt: This is your fault! You’ve awakened a craving in me, Quinns. An insatiable hunger for scoops. And it’s too early for ice-cream, so let’s get to work.
Matt: I’d really rather stay under here, Quinns – it’s cold up there and I’m ever so toasty in my nest of chewed-up Netrunner cards.
Quinns: If you won’t come to the news, then the news will COME TO YOU
Matt: Please stop inserting stories into my mouth and face, I’ll do the news I’ll do it I will
Quinns: Like a blogging Mary Poppins, today I'm floating down from the sky to add a little magic to your life. (Don't look up my skirt and we can both retain our dignity.)
This week's Games News offers not one, not two, but six(!) unique Kickstarters from established designers. Some people are saying that the ever-swelling bubble of board game Kickstarters will have to pop at some point. Me? I don't know about that, but I will say that I've never before seen a month where Kickstarter board games have managed to make press releases from more established companies seem repetitious and dull.
I thought that deserved a bit of a celebration. Let's take a tour!
But, oh no! The downwash from the propellers blows them out of my hands and they scatter across the city! Some people end up finding the news about a Food Chain Magnate expansion, others the sequel to Shadespire, others still the exciting and resplendent Ragusa. That was the first story returned to us, so let’s start there!
Quinns: I think it’s a phat trick.
Paul: You just made that up.