SU&SD - Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Dog Eat Dog

Brendan: Dog Eat Dog is one of those rare games we come across that do not necessarily have ‘fun’ as the end goal but, like Freedom: The Underground Railroad, try to impart some wisdom on their way through your life. It is thoughtful and intelligent and just a little uncomfortable. It’s a game with a point to make and it makes it worryingly well. If I were to describe it using SUSD’s internal style guide, “Rulez, Regulationz and Ztuff” I would call it an indie RPG about the colonisation of an island and the resultant back ‘n’ forth between ‘native’ and ‘occupier’. But since I already burned my style guide when it suggested I use ‘paragraphz’, I will have to settle for this description:

Dog Eat Dog should be taught in schools.

Quinns: Morning everybody! This week the entire board game industry is rammed into Essen’s convention centre, so the only news story we have is of a new collectible Magic: The Gathering board game! It looks an awful lot like Heroscape but less interesting. Mike said it best: “Monochromatic miniatures, poor terrain, and absolutely no chance that a dinosaur will eat a robot while an army man watches.”

If you’re interested in the details then Board Game Geek has already uploaded a comprehensive Essen preview video, but I’m unconvinced. I want to revisit Magic: The Gathering like I want to revisit puberty.

Speaking of which, as we don’t have any more news this week why don’t I share my sad story of playing Magic when I was a kid? Take a seat. Or if you’re at work, slide your wheely chair a little closer to your PC, creating a calming snugness between your thighs and your desk. It’s almost like being in bed.

Quinns: Morning everybody! Can you feel it? Halloween has officially begun. Yesterday Paul and I recorded a spooky podcast announcing the game we’ll review at the end of the month, and in the evening I went to see long-running London play Ghost Stories. Which, if you’ve got a free evening in our city and felt like peeing yourself a little bit, I can’t recommend highly enough.

So naturally we begin our news with forthcoming board game Planes! Scariest of all the modes of transport. Imagine opening your bedroom curtains at night and seeing a plane right there, staring in at you! It doesn’t bear thinking about.

Quinns: Pip, can I tell you about my favourite moment in our game of Illegal?

Pip: Go on then.

Quinns: It was when I crossed the living room to see you and Paul conducting the worst drug deal ever. “Do you want a drug?” he asked, in the embarrassed tones of someone asking if you needed the toilet. “It’s a good drug. It’s good! Do you want a drug, or maybe two?” I was laughing so hard that I ruined your transaction from across the room.

Pip: Maybe that would be a really good strategy if you were a real drug dealer – being so awkward and middle class about it all that the police think it’s a double bluff and don’t bother arresting you.

Quinns: Hang on. Was Paul actually dealing drugs in my house?

Pip: So! Tell us more about Illegal [RUN PAUL, RUN]

Quinns: Good morning everybody! At least, I think it’s morning. Popular new videogame Destiny has afflicted Team SU&SD like a Dinklebot-powered plague. Sleep has become a luxury. Buttocks have fused with beanbag chairs. As I type this my right index finger is continually twitching, still trying to attain headshots on digital aliens. I’m not sure I can remember how to Games News, but I shall try.

Ooh, they’ve released the full rules for the new Space Cadets expansion, Resistance Is Mostly Futile, and it will add a SPACE KRAKEN. Which is probably the only thing that could have made our Let’s Play any more ridiculous.

Quinns: Paul, you’re tracking water on the carpet and you’ve got a starfish on your forehead.

Paul: Oh! Sorry. I’ve been running around the undersea realm of Bruno Cathala’s Abyss. Don’t worry, though. Written reviews are rarely canonical so the carpet will probably be fine.

Quinns: What?

Paul: Well, it’ll be fine in the canonical universe. After this review finishes our story will return to the SU&SD godhead and this reality will, in all likelihood, be erased.

Quinns: What?!

Paul: You know, like how I killed you in our review of Descent 2nd edition.

Quinns: WHAT? But I’ve still got so much to live for! I wanted a wedding-

Paul: Life is full of surprises, and so is Abyss! Let me get these barnacles out of my ears and I’ll explain.

Subscriptions are on hold, and we're extending the donation season

Hello donors!

We opened the current donation season for Gold Club #4 a little late, so we’re going to be accepting donations for a little longer and shipping the bag a little later (though above you can see a SNEAK PREVIEW of Paul’s forthcoming RPG module, The Lair of the Bee Lord, illustrated by Steve Hogarty). This also lets people who’d like access to our new forums (see that button in the upper right?) still make any donation at all to get access.

Since all subscriptions that were scheduled to bill you guys on the 1st of October would go towards Gold Club bag #5, we’ve put all subscriptions on hold and will re-activate them next month once we’ve had time to catch our breath. Those of you who’d still like to make a regular donation towards nothing more than the continued running of the site can still do so via a one-time donation.

Thanks so much everybody!

— Team SU&SD

Hello everybody!

It’s an exciting day for us. First off, our fourth ever donation season is now open but will close at the end of September, so if you’d like to support us or want in on the 4th Gold Club please pledge in the next 12 days. Unless you’re a subscriber, of course, in which case you can sit back, crack your knuckles and feel a sense of harmony with the universe.

But wait! There’s more! An early test version of the official SU&SD forums is now open to anyone who’s ever made account with us by donating. There’s no need to be in the Gold Club to get an account. Whatever donation you like will get you in there if you’d like to chat about board games, roleplaying games, or just how to fix Finland.

Thanks so much for the support, everybody.

— Team SU&SD

Matt: I don’t know if this is by far the silliest thing we’ve ever reviewed…

Paul: …and I don’t even know if that matters or not. Is PitchCar silly? Is it also possibly the simplest game to ever grace our (web)pages? Is it even a board game?

Matt: Do we even care?

Paul: Will we ever stop using the word “even”?

Quinns: Morning, everybody! I’m not 100% sure what happened to me this weekend, but this vine exists so I suppose it was pretty awesome.

Once again our top story is the one with the prettiest image, again proving that SU&SD is as shallow and corrupt as a dwarven bidet. What you see above is Realm of Wonder, an upcoming Finnish game that’s caught the attention of indefatigable outlet BoardGameGeek News. Each player controls a fantasy character trying to complete a secret objective, then return to the king’s castle.

But there are problems! The two innermost continents of the board can be physically rotated, locking new paths in place and (hopefully) leaving your friends stranded in some faerie bog. And while Realm of Wonder can be played with young children, advanced rules add bluffing, the claiming of resource pools, magic spells, monstrous combat and the fantasy equivalent of road blocks.

Review: Dog Eat Dog

The Magic Position

Games News! 13/10/14

Review: Illegal

Games News! 06/10/14

Review: Abyss

Subscriptions are on hold, and we’re extending the donation season

Donations are now open!

Review: PitchCar

Games News! 25/08/14

Feeds