Quinns: ANOTHER ONE’S ESCAPED.
Paul: QUARANTINE PROTOCOL GAMMA. ENGAGE DEFENSE TURRETS. EVACUATE THE BIODOME. THE WORLD ISN’T READY FOR THE NEWS OF GEN7.
Good grief, this is two weeks in a row that Plaid Hat games are leading our Games News, but Gen7 is none other than the second "Crossroads" game. In other words, it's the long-awaited spiritual sequel to Dead of Winter.
Quinns: What, this? This little thing under my tertiary limb? Why, it’s only the latest announcement from Plaid Hat games, their fancy new Neon Gods. Doesn’t it look pretty, Paul? Doesn’t it look like an imaginative cross between roller derby, cyberpunk and Adventure Time? Doesn’t it also look… CURIOUSLY FAMILIAR?
Quinns: Ha, you've figured it out, haven't you? Yes, I believe that Neon Gods is nothing less than the mutant child of early Plaid Hat classic City of Remnants, a game we were delighted by all the way back in 2013.
Quinns: IT’S ONLY THE SEQUEL TO AZUL.
Quinns: Do you know what the opposite of a softening gummy bear is?
Games Workshop’s new announcement, KILL TEAM.
Paul: This is a disaster. Why can’t people put their mugs into the saucers gently. Why are they all bashing them together like toddlers.
Quinns: There are at least two women within ten feet of me who think they’re Carrie Bradshaw. I’m friends with a lot of writers and none of them look this stylish or pleased with themselves as they write. They all put their hair up and enter a kind of sticky and hypnotised state.
Paul: I did like that yappy animal that was behind you though. The one that looked like a Normal Dog that a level 5 wizard had cast Reduce Dog on.
Quinns: I don’t want to ever come back here. Why would anyone come here instead of sitting snug in the shadowy confines of a quiet pub. I feel like I’m in an iPhone advert.
Quinns: Paul, it’s time for you to get a round in.
Paul: You don’t need to type that, I’m sat right next to you. Also it’s not even 1pm.
Quinns: Don’t give me that you NARC
Paul: What?! But Fantasy Flight have only just released the revamped starter set!
Quinns: Yeah. As you’d imagine, the unexpected announcement has left the Netrunner community in a state of shock.
Paul: This year's Spiel Des Jahres nominees are coming at us like hail in a windstorm. That’s to say SIDEWAYS and KIND OF PAINFULLY. Like HARD RAISINS. A HARD RAISINS’ A-GONNA FALL.
Quinns: Well said, Paul! I can hardly tell you just had a big coffee.
If you’re not aware, once a year this prestigious German prize is awarded by a jury of critics for “excellence in game design”. Because the winner of the Spiel des Jahres can sell up to half a million copies, it's basically the only prize in board gaming that matters. You can see the past winners here.
It’s now also tradition that every year Shut Up & Sit Down looks at the nominees and contort our faces into the kind of expression you might wear when checking if you’ve broken a toe.