Review: Roll for the Galaxy

so much throbbing, steamy escape capsule, everything wears a goatee
Review: Roll for the Galaxy

Paul: I think I can trace my excitement for custom dice right back to my earliest gaming experiences. Dice were supposed to be uniform, six-sided things that counted from one to six. The moment I saw that you could put other things on dice, my world was turned upside down. Icons? Pictures? Why stick to just six sides? Any shape you roll could be a die! What was to stop me shaving numbers into the dog’s fur and tempting her to roll about the hall floor to decide our gaming fates? Nothing, friends. Nothing.

The first time I heard about Roll for the Galaxy’s 111 multicoloured custom dice I had to be sedated. I don’t actually remember much of the day but Matt says they had to call an ambulance and I recall Quinns, Brendan and Leigh visiting me in a facility specially constructed and arranged to avoid reminding inmates of the platonic solids. Thing is, in that place we still had our black market deals that the staff didn’t know about. Ten pounds to touch a D12. Forfeit an evening meal to roll some X-Wing attack dice.

Oh yeah, Roll for the Galaxy. I’d better tell you about it.

Read More
123 Comments

Games News! 11/05/15

the buttermilk card, the chokeslam tile, the burger token
Design Town

[Begin SU&SD black box transcript for “Games News Dialogue: 11th May 2015.” Recovered by crews at 9:17am.]

[Recording begins, some sound of birdsong and footsteps.]

Quinns: PAUL. PAUL. WAKE UP.

Paul: OH GOD WHAT IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE.

Quinns: Paul I know what-

Paul: DON’T COME IN HERE. Just tell me from behind the door.

Quinns: Paul, I know what you like most of all!

Paul: And what is that?

Quinns: Wrestling!

Read More
78 Comments

Review: Witness

one game, sixty four quests, witness the fitness
Video review: Witness

We’ve got a HUGE game for you this week! Witness might look like a pre-schooler up-ended their homework over your table, but it’s actually an inventive, sexy game of solving mysteries from the publishers of Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective.

But while Sherlock is a game of wild theories and sweet sherries, Witness is no less than a game of swearing, sweating and whispering. Come take a look. You won’t regret it.

Read More
Leave a comment

Review: Cards Against Humanity

and they will know us by the trail of the op-eds
Review: Cards Against Humanity

Paul: I’d like to talk about Cards Against Humanity, one of our hobby’s biggest breakout successes.

The best way to describe Cards Against Humanity is “Lego for jokes”. It gives its players setups and punchlines, all ready to click together in one-step assembly. It’s easier than microwaving food or boil-in-the-bag rice. Almost no creativity is required, and because the powers of chance deal you your cards, it’s not as if you can even help the sort of combinations that present themselves, right? As well as creativity and effort, who even needs responsibility?

It’s important that we provide a trigger warning for what follows. A warning for, well, just about anything: abuse; violence; racism; rape.

Read More
1,743 Comments

Games News! 04/05/15

MYS 0.21 ^ 1.19% srv 0.12 0.71% snt 0.01 ^4.71%
Mysterium

Paul: Hello! Welcome to Games News! Today we-

Quinns: Wait. Hold on.

Paul: What, are we-

Quinns: Okay. Go.

Paul: Today we’re coming to you live from… for some reason, live from Exeter Central Rail Station where, as you can see, the crowds are just… just wild for-

Quinns: The crowds here are absolutely wild for the board game news we have! I can barely hear myself over the noise! This response is unprecedented!

Paul: Yes, yes it is! Our first story is all about Survive! and it only gets more exciting from there. How are you guys back in the studio? Are yo-

Quinns: DON’T CUT BACK TO THE STUDIO.

Read More
Leave a comment

Podcast #28: Imperial Smog

grumpy scientists, burning sweet shops, the gentle tazers of the canadian police

Sometimes Team SU&SD can be compared to a marching band, except instead of playing musical instruments we make awful mistakes, and instead of moving forward we stay in the same place forever. Not today, though! Today, in podcast #28, we prove our competence. Paul discusses overcoming Panamax‘s awful manual to discover the fabulous game within, … Read more

Read More
118 Comments

Games News! 27/04/15

Junta

Paul: Quinns, could you keep the noise down- oh my God, who are all these games?

Quinns: Did we wake you up? Sorry! I just thought I’d invite a few of our favourite board games round for a nightcap and a cigar.

Paul: This is nuts. I hardly recognise any of them. It’s as if this week there have been exciting developments exclusively regarding games we like, and this party is an elaborate premise for a roundup of the week’s news.

Quinns: Yes

Read More
90 Comments

Review: Panamax

satisfying shunting, paul in a bath, puppies in a fun tunnel
Review: Panamax

So it turns out that Paul has actually always had something of a fascination for big ships. It also turns out that Panamax mixes big ships with big business and (very) big bucks. After all these years, could this be the way that Paul finally makes his millions?

Of course not. It’s a board game. Still, it could be good, right? Let’s see what Shut Up & Sit Down’s North American Correspondent thinks in a video made in the style of some of our very first reviews.

Read More
Leave a comment

Review: Elysium

poseidon the god of jerks, ares the god of points, apollo the god of extra bits
Review: Elysium

Quinns: So you walk into your local board game shop, eager to make a purchase. An unhealthy, bubbly excitement starts building inside you, as if you were a shaken can of cola. You scan the shelves, letting your obsession rise from the pit of your stomach to slightly above your stomach. You’re taking one of these boxes home.

So you drop to all fours, ready to begin the hunt. The shop owner doesn’t give you a second glance. He’s seen it all before. You prowl between the aisles, buttocks undulating like a pair of bald men being ritually drowned. What’s this? Elysium… ?

It’s a brand new release from Space Cowboys, the hot young publisher of the wonderful Splendour and the entirely passable Black Fleet. Elysium looks great! It’s got cards, Greeks, gods, it looks lovely and it’s different every time you play.

“STOP!” comes the cry, as I slide down a nearby fireman’s pole (was it there before?!).

“My name is Quinns,” I continue, squeaking all the way down as the pole rubs between my bare thighs. “Allow me to tell you whether to buy Elysium using… a review.

Read More
92 Comments