Paul: Please, come in, come in. Feel free to walk about the place and make yourself at home, though we warn you that the heady odour of fresh paint and barely-dried varnish may cause some mild light-headedness. We felt we were long overdue for a serious overhaul and so, after listening to all your helpful feedback, we’ve rebuilt ourselves from the ground up.
Quinns: So get stuck in! Why not check out our swanky new search function? Zoom through years of Shut Up & Sit Down in seconds – hundreds of videos, articles, podcasts, and THINGS. Our new system combs the whole site in mere moments, runs completely silently, produces no waste, and has no moving parts. You can search as many times as you like and it’ll never wear out!
Paul: We also have a faster, better organised and (dare we say it?) sexier archive of every board game we’ve ever featured. Are you looking for a game for two, something with miniatures, or perhaps something conflict-free? At the click of a button, subsort those entries. I know, right?! If you feel dizzy, please just pause and take a seat on one of the many new plush sofas we’ve had installed. If you’re looking around and can’t seem to find one yet, a man should deliver it straight to your house at some point after 3pm. We do hope the colour matches your curtains. In retrospect, we probably should have asked.
Once you’ve angrily given up waiting for us to deliver unlikely furniture, go and grab a cocktail at our brand new, high-tech forum, which is now open for everybody and not just donors! We’re well aware that this site has one of the best communities on the internet, offering respect, decency, joy and laughter in equal measure. You guys play a huge part in why we love doing what we do, and we want to give you the tools to enjoy one another’s company as much as we enjoy yours. Rest assured our team of moderators will continue to keep our forums a friendly, moderated, welcoming place.
Quinns: You’ll notice that we’ve also renamed the video games bit of the forum after Cool Ghosts, the video game site run by Matt and myself. Both sites are going to be sharing a forum now! This isn’t simply because both communities are lovely, it’s because it’s usually the same people commenting. The best thing to do is to imagine a peanut butter and jam sandwich. Initially unsettling, but ultimately delicious.
Matt: But Quinns! If the forums are now free, what do our donors get?
Quinns: What a great question !! !! ! !! ! !!!!
Anyone who donates in a given month will receive that month’s newsletter (sent out on the 1st of each month) giving them the latest behind-the-scenes info on Shut Up & Sit Down. What games are we testing? What problems are we wrestling with? Who’s dating who? What’s going on in our daily lives? And most importantly, what games are we *planning on recommending*, so you can snag them from shops early in case they sell out.
Still, all the dust is settling and the paint is still wet, so do let us know if you find any imperfections or spot weird bugs hanging out with bad crowds. We’ve given this site a good testing, kicked the tyres and made sure the walls stand firm, but if you run into problems then our door is always open. Just please don’t track muddy footprints everywhere, the carpet’s shag.
Paul: The carpets are doing what? Due to technical things we don’t fully understand, it may take a short while for DNS servers around the world to completely propagate, or something. Personally we think propagating is wrong – the people deserve to be told the truth – but the upshot of all this is that the new turbo-swanky Shut Up & Sit Down might not be available to everyone, everywhere, for a few more… minutes? Hopefully just minutes. Eek! If in doubt, refresh your cache. Enjoy the fresh, new smell of your clean browser.
Matt: There’s also no better time for us to announce that this revamp also heralds more changes-
Paul: I love heralding changes. I’ve brought a bugle.
Matt: Paul put that dog down – IT HERALDS MORE CHANGES, because we have some big plans for the next twelve months. We’ll keep you updated on what those are and be sure to suitably herald you when the time-
Quinns: I love heralds. Herald us in with a bugle, Paul.
Matt: Please put it down. Anyway – ONE DAY, A TIME WILL COME. In the meantime, we’d like to remind you that if you’ve been enjoying what we do – and want to see it continue indefinitely – you can donate or subscribe to us here.
Since it began, Shut Up & Sit Down has run entirely on contributions from people like you – helping us to continue, grow, and improve what we do. To date we’ve been 100% independent and fan-funded – we’ve never taken any money from advertisers or publishers, so we literally wouldn’t be here without your support. Thank you, you’ve been terrific – we hope that we continue to do you proud.
Quinns: And believe me, we have some big plans. Please, please keep sending us your feedback, keep telling us about your gaming experiences, keep letting us know what you’re excited about and, oh boy, just keep having fun with board games!
Paul: I think I huffed too many fumes.
Quinns: You were gluing all the pictures, weren’t you?
Paul: Look, SOMEONE has to stick pictures up on the site.
Matt: I told you to use staples.
Paul: I’ve also stapled myself to the videos page. Permanently. I’m stuck there forever. Time to play a sad song on my bugle.