Paul: QUINNS IT’S AWFUL.
Quinns: paul wha-
Paul: QUINNS IT’S AWFUL. HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS. IT’S AWFUL.
Quinns: paul of course i have not heard the news nor any other news this is games news this is where i hear the news pau-
Paul: QUINNS THE BUNNIES ARE GETTING DIVORCED.
The ONLY game I want to talk about today is the ridiculously overtitled KUNE v LAKIA: A Chronicle Of A Royal Lapine Divorce Foretold, the industry’s first ever ROYAL BUNNY DIVORCE SIMULATOR. Why are prestigious bunnies Kune and Lakia divorcing? I have no idea. It’s probably a sex thing, since bunnies have so much sex. Anyway, the point is that it’s your job to represent one of them as a bunny lawyer and get the best deal possible as you tear apart their wealthy bunny estate.
Quinns: Oh wow, there are wooden carrot tokens! I was ready to be cynical but this sounds awesome. Both players are trying to win influential members of the court over to their side and hide property from the other player. “Much like a real divorce,” the description continues, “this is a highly interactive process.” What a selling point.
The game I want to talk about is one that slipped the net of the Games News, having arrived in shops this week without us ever previewing it!
Coup: Rebellion G54 (so named because it re-implements the original game of Coup: Guatamala 1954) takes Coup, doubles the price, quintuples the number of components and drops it into a box ten times the size.
Rather than the 5 roles of regular Coup, G54 instead has 25 roles and each time you play you’ll play with a different 5. So, the Assassin, Duke and Captain are now joined by the Director, the Journalist, the Capitalist, and so on. It’s a different game every time you play.
The people at home need to imagine my eyes rolling like clothes in a tumble drier. For the umpteenth time, this is Indie Boards and Cards putting their fans (who probably just bought the Coup: Reformation expansion) into a crappy place by offering an endless stream of new, definitive editions, the retail versions of which are never definitive because they’re always lacking in the Kickstarter-exclusive modules.
God I’m so UNREASONABLY ANGRY. Stop devaluing games in my collection, you monsters!
Paul: Don’t worry, shh, just lie down and think of Antarctica. That’s Antarctica the continent and also the game. Scooped out of BoardGameGeek’s ever-gushing news pipe, Antarctica struck me as one of the most colourful and even cutest of the titles featured in their still ongoing post-Spiel coverage.
Quinns: Oh, you like this one? I put it in the news back in September. It is charmingly chunky, isn’t it?
Paul: Yes! It’s also been a while since my furry ears were perked up by what looks like a classic eurogame, with all sorts of chunky wooden people and ships chasing after a variety of Antarctic resources, with cardboard buildings popping up and with a big yellow sun ball watching over everything. I’m not yet sure, but this might be the sort of eurogame that charms me with its colours, a la Keyflower, or eventually repulses me with its passive-aggressive competitiveness. We shall see.
Quinns: It really has been too long since we covered a strong Eurogame. My personal pickle was fingered by The Gallerist, a recent release by Vital Lacerda, designer of such noble puzzles as Kanban, CO2 and Vinhos.
With a beautiful box weighing in at 3.6kg, The Gallerist positions 1-4 players as competing art gallery owners. You’ll invest in art and artists, decide what to hang and where, chase trends and visitors and even figure out when to sell your collections.
If you’re interested, the inimitable Rahdo has done a lengthy runthrough, although at 33 minutes long it’s more of a climbthrough. Personally, I just love that all the player galleries are right next to each other. I imagine all of the curators staring out of their windows at one another, stirring their green tea with barely-concealed fury.
Ooh, I got myself all excited. Maybe I’ll buy it this week.
Paul: As we speed toward the very end of the Games News trench, proton torpedoes armed, we just can’t avoid the Star Wars stuff that’s drenched the internet this week. More Star Wars is coming. It might be good? I don’t know. Like Han Solo, I’m old now and a trailer is just a trailer, you know? All that really matters is the thing itself, the thing of substance. Anyone can say that a big game of X-Wing is coming, but only these folks actually made a an enormous Battle of Endor scenario that had a base, roaming AT-ATs and so many tiny, wee wargame trees. Look at those trees. So many trees! And not an ewok in sight. I hope someone had made a custom rule that lets Chewbacca yank Imperial commanders out of their cockpits.
Quinns: I would put real money on Star Wars: The Force Awakens being almost exactly as average as Batman Begins.
Paul: How much money?
Paul: I will not take that bet.
Quinns: And finally! If you’re a fan of roleplaying, witches or noble causes, we want to bring your attention to Calling the Quarters.
This is a $10 digital collection of four roleplaying games, any one of which can be in a single sitting. There’s a party game of mob mentality, a contemplative game of sacred spaces and fears, a game of guardian witches and a parlor LARP involving tarot cards. Exotic!
Most importantly, part of the proceeds will be donated to the medical care of a woman in the RPG community who’s just been diagnosed with plasma cell leukaemia.
I find RPG manuals almost as fun to just read as I do to play. Why not pay $10 for some light lunchtime reading?