Paul: You know what? This is the sort of game I wish Monopoly was. A capitalist, pugilist slugging-it-out where the only thing that matters is money and how much of it you can wrench out of the hands of others. And it doesn’t have disgusting paper notes in, either, so that’s another pro. I’m not really sure there will be blood, but there will be a lot of oil and an awful lot of very cruel business practices…
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Paul: I didn’t have anywhere exciting to hide as a child or very many people to play with anyway. But we did play a game called Nine Nine In on our school field, which involved-
Quinns: FURY OF DRACULA sees four players each controlling a vampire hunter chasing Dracula across Europe. It’s a glossy update of a classic called Scotland Yard, which was a board game about catching a runaway criminal in London, but here a fifth player gets to control the immortal Count Dracula rather than some greasy burglar, so it’s already the better game.
cleverly designed ones. Let me tell you, we have some even smarter and
even bigger ones coming too, with all sorts of clever twists, but
sometimes size isn’t everything. Sometimes smarts aren’t everything,
either. It’s not always about brains, you know.
Unless, of course, you’re playing Zombies, in which case it really is
about brains. Brains and bullets and using the bullets to keep your
brains where God intended. Sure, you can try and tell those wandering
cadavers that brains are overrated, that they should consider a
vegetarian option, but it’s really very difficult to engage them in any
kind of extended dialogue. Because they’re dead.
We also interview a world-famous games developer and enjoy a night out on the town. Fancy that!
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Is this something you’ve ever done? Does it sound crazy to you, rehearsing a rules explanation? Well, look here. You wouldn’t invite over a group of friends only to have them find you sprawled on the sofa in your dressing gown, a hint of your genitals barely visible like some cowardly and as-yet uncatalogued subterranean mammal, would you? No. You respect these people too much to let them see you in such an embarrassing state of unpreparedness. So you should also respect them enough to be able to present those rules like a pro.
Talking about a game that we don’t like is simply a less useful service than bellowing about one we love. That said, we can, and will, be making exceptions from time to time.
Paul: Wait, wait. What? That we don’t like? I wasn’t told about this.
Episode 3, Civil Surface, sees everything turn serious. Has the government really banned board games? Quite what is going on amongst the SU&SD team? And how many audio glitches and microphone problems can you possibly have in one episode?
Really, we’re sorry there are some minor microphone problems. We blame it on the radiation.
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The problem I have is that every other game I want to talk about is a
game I don’t have. More than a few of them are games that I did have, but don’t have any more. It’s a sad state of affairs that all I have left of HeroQuest is the board, the dice and so many fading memories.
Well, I have even less left of Space Crusade, Games Workshop’s science fiction counterpart to HeroQuest, released a year later. I barely remember the components, or even how to play the game. Today, looking through old photos, I’ve been trying to remember and trying to avoid that metaphorical whack in the sack.