Quinns: GOD WHAT’S HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE
Paul: So I hear you’ve been playing the new Descent without me.
Quinns: Look I-
Paul: I think it’s time we had a chat, don’t you? Would you like to sit down?
Quinns: I can’t sit down because you’ve amputated my bum and also I’m hanging from a hook.
Paul: Then let us begin.
Brendan: Hi. Matt, right?
Matt: Hi there! Come in, come in. Did you have a pleasant journey?
Brendan: I don’t know. What was that waste I had to cross?
Matt: Not now, Brendan. Come with me. The US has declared victory in the war on terror.
Brendan: Right. Wait, what was that? And how do you know my name?
"I'll never forget the time my friend played team psycho Michael McGlen. He idly wandered into a shed, alone, where the Keeper deployed about six cards in a comedic level of bullying. Two turns later Michael ran out of the same shed with a back injury, no shotgun and a crippling fear of the rest of us, whereupon the shed promptly exploded."
Paul: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THE HORRORSHED.
Quinns is right, though. This is a very strange, but hugely impressive game that everyone should know about, even if it's just to steer clear. Go read!
We start with Plaid Hat Games, who've just let slip a wad of information on their upcoming BioShock Infinite board game, The Siege of Columbia, AND have begun accepting pre-orders for $25 off the retail price. But will it be good, or not-good?! We just don't know. The designer, Isaac Vega, has two games coming this year from Plaid Hat, this and the dramatic-looking (and sounding) City of Remnants, but has yet to ship anything. We'll have to wait and see.
It's a game better seen than explained. Only then will you suffocating weight of the lies this game spawns. Here, we're playing The Resistance: Avalon, a standalone sequel with an Arthurian theme.
All right, everybody quiet down! Girls, your dormitories are over there. Boys, your rooms are still under construction. You’ll be sleeping in the... toilets? That can’t be right.
If anyone had any questions, we answer them in an FAQ after the jump.
You’re making the jump? Okay, hold on. Not to me.
Enter Antoine Bauza’s Rampage, which should be landing this year. Bauza’s one of our favourite designers here at SU&SD, having crafted 7 Wonders and Ghost Stories, both of which are capable of collapsing your face into deep thought like a strong man might fold a deck chair.
With Rampage, 2-4 players will be dropping their wooden kaiju monsters to crush buildings, blowing on civilians to claim their pathetic lives and even flicking themselves at one another in foul, animal anger. Doesn’t that sound perfect?
Hear Quinns' caramel baritone as he provides evidence of why board game sales are rocketing up, three deadly arguments for why video gamers need to be playing board games, and even some jokes. Yes, JOKES.
Quinns: So here’s what happened.
Quinns: A while back some SU&SD readers joked that we should review Tease: The Liberating Game for Couples and Groups. I got in touch with the PR
Leigh: Oh, I’ll bet you did.
Quinns: I GOT IN TOUCH WITH THE PR, who said she wasn’t sure they
should send a game to a site that would probably just make fun of it. Which was a fair cop. I just wanted to do a video where four men play Tease and are forced to give one another massages.
Except then they sent me the game anyway! And… it’s… pretty good!
Quinns: A little tight. How’s yours?
Paul: I went with the dress. It was cheaper. HELLO, ladies and
gentlemen, boys and antiboys. It’s time for our top 5 games of 2012, which will almost certainly be as well-organised and halcyon as our top 10 Upcoming Games of 2012 feature, which ended up being 14 games, none of which we agreed on.
Quinns: Step this way, banishing all preconceptions from your mind, AND ALSO any thoughts that this feature is three months later. And let’s kick things off with…