Review: Mission- Red Planet

board games, moist carnival rides, crap NASA, the other thing
Review: Mission- Red Planet
Quinns: What are you doing RIGHT NOW? Swallow that food! Drop that baby! We’ve found a board game you should buy. It’s kind of what we do around here.

Mission: Red Planet is a game of racing to colonise Mars in a congenial, steampunk fashion.
3-5 players jostle to load their tiny astronauts into ships on the launchpad board, these land them on the planet board, and you all try and dominate regions and fulfill secret objectives in a game of area
control.


Review: City of Horror

City of Horror, Conniving, Zombies, mashed bananas, SCUMBAGS
Review: City of Horror
Paul: It’s Hallowe’en! Well, it was Hallowe’en last night. Do you go in for Hallowe’en? I don’t, really. I don’t know if that’s because I’m from Hampshire or not. It’s just, you know, a time associated with throwaway seasonal tat and twenty drunk people all dressed as the same Heath Ledger Joker being sick on public transport—

Quinns: PAUL. THE GAME.

Paul: Right! As is proper, we played a board game for Hallowe’en. Something a bit different. A game that’s both a trick and a treat.

Quinns: A shiny new game called City of Horror. This game made our Hallowe’en. And it’s going to make every Hallowe’en after that.


Review: Discworld – Ankh Morpork

board games, sexy sexy clay, greasy guys, a kick in the particulars
Review: Discworld - Ankh Morpork
Quinns: TWO games based on Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books have come out recently. Don’t worry, though. We’re here to guide you through this difficult time. There’s Guards! Guards! which we’ve heard is about as much fun as actually being arrested, but there’s also Discworld: Ankh-Morpork, which we heard is quite good! So we got it and played it. Isn’t that right, Paul?

Paul: That’s right Quinns, and-

Quinns: That’s right!

Paul: …so the best thing we can say about Discworld: Ankh-Morpork is that it’s equal parts family friendly and utter chaos, so it’s perfect for a Discworld game. Two to four players are trying to gain control of the 12 districts of the city of Ankh-Morpork, clutching at power with their clumsily, pudgy hands as if they’re all trying to model clay on the same pottery wheel.

Quinns: Fingers slipping over oily fingers, all of you swearing, someone’s got clay in their eye, until finally the thing comes to a stop and all you’ve made is a mess.



The “Very Third” Shut Up & Sit Down Podcast

podcast, language, Mage Knight, eating ice

Paul: As well as bouncing between topics like a pinball between flippers, this is an important podcast for us for two reasons. First, we’re announcing an exciting thing and second, we’re also asking you, our audience, an important question about a decision we’re thinking of making. But we won’t make it without consulting you first.

Does that sound dramatic? Hopefully it’s whetted your appetite and stimulated your curiosity gland, but BE WARNED- mostly we just talk about games again.

Read the full article...


Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game

board games, miniatures games, mostly giggles, NIGHT BEAST
Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game
Quinns: BAAAA! Ba-da-baa! Ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba ba baaaaaa… BA BA BA BAAAA. BAAA! Ba ba ba BAAA ba! Ba ba ba BAAAA ba! Ba-bam-ba-baaaa…

That is me singing the STAR WARS theme. I am singing it for you. It is a special treat.

Fantasy Flight’s owned the Star Wars license for more than a year now,
but all that’s meant for us is one passable card game. Until today. The X-Wing Miniatures Game is THE release this month. Tiny, pre-painted spaceships, jinking past lasers that could reduce them to a sneeze in less time than it takes an extra to scream “I’M HIT".

But SHOULD YOU BUY IT? Short answer: “Yes.” Long answer: “Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah," followed by a thoughtful pause and a speech like this…



Review: Warrior Knights

Paul’s away! And while Paul’s away, Quinns can review Fantasy Flight’s re-imagining of Warrior Knights! But that’s just for starters. Medieval Strategy Week is just getting started. It’s starting. Here we go.

Season 2 – Episode 5

The summer of 2012 is over! It’s disappearing, like a boiled egg into the hungry belly of time. But don’t be sad! The Summer Special, the biggest episode of board game review show Shut Up & Sit Down ever, is here to help.

We’re reviewing games that are that much more relaxing! …which isn’t to say we don’t get a bit worked up. About all of them.

YouTube not working? Try Vimeo!


Impressions: August

Nuclear midwifery, Sweaty dinosaurs, Mama why you done put our gas in the hall again
Flash Point: Fire Rescue
Quinns: London’s enduring an apocalyptic heatwave right now. I’m typing this with ice cubes taped to my neck, and Paul is lying face-down on the floor. We’re trying to stay hydrated, but liquid just comes flying out of us with the velocity of a water pistol.

Paul: I feel like a massive armpit. BUT it has been the perfect time to enjoy games in the sunshine. And then get bitten by everything, ever.

Quinns: Trust us when we say we’re in no state to review anything right now. Instead, enjoy a summery summary of what we’ve been playing this month. No less than THREE hot new board games, each hotter than the last.