SU&SD Needs You! Donations are now open.

here we go, help, the man, the banisters, the gold club
SU&SD Needs You! Donations are now open.

Quinns: Today we’d like to present a Very Special Episode of Shut Up & Sit Down, meant to raise awareness of the issues. Well, one issue. Which is that the amount of money that we have is… or rather, it doesn’t… this amount, it doesn’t really exist.

Paul: Right. After two years of you guys asking how you can give money to SU&SD, we’re finally letting you. Please, go check out our fancy new donations section, our new video, and all of the fabulous rewards on offer.

Quinns: We’re so proud of everything we’ve achieved since we began Shut Up & Sit Down, and we’re stupidly excited about how we’ll grow next. With your help, we’ll be able to find out.

Paul: Thank you all very much.

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SU&SD Will Be At Eurogamer Expo 2013!

chilling out, craning necks, being rude, hotting dogs
SU&SD Will Be At Eurogamer Expo 2013!

Paul: We’ve got some exciting news for you!

Quinns: But you’ve already put the news in the title.

Paul: Well-

Quinns: So there’s not really anything to share now. I mean, there’s not much point in us writing any more. I guess we could get onto the details?

Paul: That’s not very exciting.

Quinns: Don’t get mad at me because you ruined it.

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Review: Gauntlet of Fools

heroic hangovers, roving perverts, cheeky zombies, controlled nonsense
Review: Gauntlet of Fools

Quinns: Have you heard of Munchkin? It might be the most popular standalone card game in our hobby. You all play Dungeons & Dragons-type heroes racing to reach level 10, alternately working together and wrenching one another backwards. It’s a grinning figurehead for table gaming. And I hate it.

I hate that in parodying D&D so focusedly it erects walls around gaming as a whole, its 20 year-old injokes acting like barbed wire. I hate that it goes on for 30 minutes longer than anyone wants. I hate how the game is entirely based around attacking the lead player, rendering the entire first 60 minutes almost pointless. But most of all, I hate how it gets everywhere.

I’ll be at the pub, explaining SU&SD to some friend or stranger or travelling pervert, and they’ll say “Oh! Yeah, I’ve played Munchkin. It was OK!” And with that, all the icecubes will disappear from my drink, a new wrinkle will appear on my body and all the babies within two miles of us will start crying.

So here it is. My counter-offer. If you want a light, mad card game with a Dungeons & Dragons theme, buy Gauntlet of Fools instead, a game from no less than the creator of Dominion. Also, a game of battling trolls with a hangover, and getting skewered by spear traps while hopping on one leg.

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Games News! 16/09/13

Rboadts, pooping Schwarzeneggers, poster children, geese breeding, Kaboom faces
Origin

Quinns: Morning, all! It’s a high tech start to this week. The Kickstarter for Golem Arcana has launched, reaching deep into gamers’ pockets the world over. But not in a sexy way.

Well, it is a little sexy, I guess. This is a miniatures game of unparalleled luxury. You’re getting gorgeous, pre-painted golem things, and also a pen thing that reads the microdots on the miniatures’ bases, so a companion app can act as “a referee, rule book, and tracking device all-in-one”. Which is… good? And it might be… the future?

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Review: Augustus

roadhouse, water information, Henry, moths, romans, games?
Review: Augustus

We like to think of SU&SD as one big family. Sadly, according to GOV.UK that’s wrong, and a family needs at least 2 children, 1 drinking problem and (at least) 1 farting dog.

But that wasn’t going to stop us from reviewing the year’s hottest new family board game! Augustus is a simulation of dispatching Roman legions to different corners of the earth that recently got nominated for a very prestigious German award. Also, Quinns is back with another hot Netrunner tip. Have you heard of Netrunner? It’s really good. You should play it.

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Interview: Plaid Hat Games

winning, cusping, leading, gangbusting, shepherding
Interview: Plaid Hat Games

[Everybody likes Colby Dauch. After starting Plaid Hat Games at the ripe age of 27 with a game of his own design, he’s managed to publish one very interesting game a year (from different designers) in each of the four years since, and has grown from Heroscape fanboy to capable and committed entrepreneur — a transition that many designers-turned-publishers make with far less aplomb.

With the publication of BioShock Infinite: The Siege of Columbia, Dauch’s young company is suddenly much higher — brighter? — on many more radar screens. We sent Actual Journalist Mark Wallace to find out what makes Colby such a nice guy. Instead, he came back with this interview.]

Mark: I want to jump right in by mentioning BioShock. You’ve just released the board game of the hit video game. It looks like you’re sitting on the edge of what could be a huge mainstream success. How does that feel, to go from being an unknown publisher four years ago, to shepherding one of the coolest, most high-profile game franchises into cardboard?

Colby: It’s pretty shocking. The interesting story there is that they approached me. That they sought out a board game rather than being pitched on it means that they know about this world, and they’re into it. Video gamers is a growing market for board games, so a project like this is right there in the sweet spot of growth for the industry. To be a growing company and be right where we feel the cusp of that growth is of course immensely exciting.

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Games News! 09/09/13

dressing up, levelling up, giving up, tuning forks, under the table
Dungeon Fighter

Quinns: Morning everybody! It’s got to be morning where one of you is, right?

You can see our top story illustrated just up there: Board gamers’ arms are hairier than ever before. The problem is now reaching critical levels. Coincidentally, also pictured above is our second top story, which is that the Pathfinder Adventure Card Game arriving in stores globally is, apparently, a bit good.

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Review: The Cave

underground wumblers, tent adventures, a quiche, netrunner tips
Review: The Cave

This week Quinns looks at The Cave! A game about caves and the people who love them and sometimes get stuck in them. Which might sound rubbish, but did you ever consider that caves are basically nature’s dungeons?

We’re also very proud to present the segment that you lot have been begging for: Quinns’ Netrunner Tips!

Oh, and if anyone’s curious, the K2 review we talk about in the video lives right here. Enjoy, everybody!

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Review: Here I Stand

boy bands, the wicker card, all aboard the succubus, most musty, smallpox
Review: Here I Stand

Quinns: Matt? I need a second opinion on this beret. Hey, what’choo guys doing in this basement?

Thrower: INFIDEL! Remove that at ONCE! Can’t you see this is a Holy Place?

Quinns: I did wonder who all the menacingly hooded, chanting figures were.

Thrower: This is a shrine dedicated to the worship of the one true wargame mechanic: the card-driven game. And tonight, from our multitudinous pantheon, we are worshipping the many-headed and many-handed goddess. Mistress of lies and deceit, changer of the ways and the patron succubus of politicians: Here I Stand.

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Review: Village

King of the babies, Plague huffin', professional accents, Quinns is a bad dad
Review: Village

Once we heard about all the love and awards Village was earning we just had to dispatch Paul and Quinns, SU&SD’s softest city boys, to take a look. This one’s a true simulation the simple life, perfect for anybody who wants to breed horses, dedicate themselves to the church or murder their relatives when nobody’s looking.

Village has an expansion, Village Inn, but Quinns has been a very good boy and not bought it. …Right, Quinns?

Oh, and if you don’t recognise that intro, go and acquire all 17 episodes of The Prisoner immediately. You can thank us later.

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