Games News! 20/07/15

professional pretzels, whispering applications, slipping at the pool
Giant

Quinns: Paul, wake up. It’s time to do the Games News again! This week, we have all sorts of interesting things. There’s technology and Italians and convention news! Hurry up, we can’t dally!

Paul: Oh boy, was I sleeping? Why was I sleeping?

Quinns: I got excited about Flick ‘Em Up and threw a wooden chopping board at your head.

Paul: Flick ’em Up? The wild west dexterity game you spotted back at the Gathering of Friends (that we weren’t invited to)?

Quinns: The very same. Professional press photos have been released, and first time publishers Pretzel Games has already announced an expansion adding horses, lassos and ramps!

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Review: Star Wars: Imperial Assault

the jism instrument, hair walls, cat doors, cool space parties
Review: Star Wars: Imperial Assault

After failing to steal a miniature AT-ST in last year’s Gen Con special, Matt, Paul and Quinns have come together to deliver the definitive, official verdict on Star Wars: Imperial Assault.

Is it better than its predecessor, Descent 2nd Edition? Why is Paul grunting at the camera? And why does Quinns look so sad? You’ll have your answers to all this, AND MORE.

WARNING: We’re currently having our copyright for this video reviewed! This is not a joke. If the link goes down, we’ll repair it ASAP. Parody is fair use!

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Miniatures Game Review: Warmachine & Hordes

troll fails, baby comparisons, snarfud abilities, hot trouncings
Miniatures Game Review: Warmachine & Hordes

[We’re thrilled to welcome back Eric Tonjes, SU&SD company Nebraskan and miniatures gaming expert, for a second review! If you missed his first column click here, and if you missed why a review of Warmachine is topical this week have a peek at the news.]

Eric: Welcome back to our survey of the world of miniatures wargames. This week, our game is Warmachine and Hordes. “But wait,” you might be thinking. “Eric, aren’t those two games?”

Well, my imaginary interlocutor, sort of. Warmachine is a game about steam powered robots with smokestacks bigger than their legs, where wizards shoot spells out of pistols and your “warcaster” channels their willpower to bend the battlefield to their plans. Hordes, by contrast, is a game about lumbering monsters with fists bigger than their heads, where wizards shoot spells out of staffs and your “warlock” channels their rage to bend the battlefield to their plans.

Other than their different resource systems and specific units, they use exactly the same rules and setting and can be played against each other. Indeed, Hordes is often referred to under the umbrella of “Warmachine” (a convention I will continue here), or the grammatically monstrous “Warmahordes” (which I will hopefully never type again).

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Games News! 13/07/15

happy exetans, formative bulges, ejecting gamers, actual fire
Warhammer

Quinns: Good MORNING everybody! What do you get up to this weekend? Answers in the comments below. Keep ’em short, sweet and tell me what your favourite component was.

The big story this week is the arrival of Games Workshop’s divisive, eccentric reboot of Warhammer Fantasy, Warhammer: Age of Sigmar. The new ruleset scraps point values for miniatures, leaving players to guess at what a fair fight might look like. It also adds a ton of bonuses that players can earn by acting a certain way while they play. Own a stuck-up High Elf dragon rider? You can re-roll your dice if you don’t smile for the entire hero phase.

A lot of Warhammer fans are confused. Some are upset. Some are really upset. And then you have the guy who uploaded a video where he sets fire to his army.

I’ve been watching the fallout for a week. It’s nuts!

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Review: Trajan

dollops of thought-sauce, squeaking men in england, quintin's attic
Review: Trajan

Buckle up, boardkids! It’s time for Team SU&SD to tackle the Official 38th Best Board Game of All Time: Trajan. A game of thrashing as many victory points as you can out of Ancient Rome.

Don’t believe what you’ve heard. Shut Up & Sit Down can still handle heavy eurogames.

…or can they?

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Podcast #30: An Opera of Toys

Matt's dangerous gambit, wooden jelly, tripping bowls

You ever eat Nerd Rope? Just an endlessly long, glutinous tongue, speckled with sour little gobbets? That’s basically the 30th ever SU&SD podcast. On this lengthy journey of no less than one hour and one minute, we discuss the absence of bitterness in the magnificent Forbidden Stars. We chat about the sheer joy of Funemployed … Read more

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Interview: Volko Ruhnke’s Modern Wargames

the ballad of the sweet warlord and Hitler's forgotten shoes
Labyrinth

Thrower: Do you find numbers scary? Do you dread the pointy 1, the razor-sharp 7, the misery of an unsolved sum? If you do, you’ve probably realised that most board games are just fearsome equations wearing friendly grins.

Designers, however, understand this, and more. They welcome it, glory in it, roll in it like pigs in mathematical mud. Because it’s what they use to build the foundations of something fun, yet something real.

Take Volko Ruhnke, designer of contemporary wargames Labyrinth and the Counter-Insurgency (or COIN) series. “Most board games and video games that are about something are models,” he told me. “Trading games, railroad building games, shooting games, strategic war games. They all communicate the game designers’ model of certain aspects of human affairs.”

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Games News! 06/07/15

tomorrow's india, yesterday's japan, ticket to elfs, Paul's trunks
cardboard trains

Paul: This is a disaster. How much food do we have left? How many days can we go? Will we even get rescued out here?

Quinns: I’m sure it’ll be fine, just keep sending up the flares and don’t put any limbs in the water. Look, I managed to salvage a few of the more intact parts of Matt, which we can probably cook, and then there’s the…

Paul: What?

Quinns: The Games News. I’m really sorry, Paul. We’re going to have to eat the Games News.

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Review: Spyfall

samantha mumba, you better belief, indubibably, the worst hotel
Review: Spyfall

The English language version of Spyfall is finally available! …And stock has immediately drained out shops the world over like a vodka martini through a sieve.

Don’t worry, friends! Operating in a dangerous web of international intrigue, and with a little help from Starlit Citadel, Team SU&SD has secured a review copy. At last, we’re here to tell you if this party game live up to the hype.

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Review: Cockroach Poker Royal

royale with cheats, hair eggs, lil' mandibles, the queen's duties
Review: Cockroach Poker Royal

Quinns: Catch Team SU&SD at our most tired and soul-blasted, when we’re done walking the halls of a giant convention, and there’s a single game we’ll always still be able to play. It’s Skull.

It’s the arsenic-laced wafer thin mint of board gaming, and there’s always room for its lies and laughter. The one thing more impressive than Asmodee daring to call Skull “the very quintessence of bluffing” is that actually, I don’t think they’re wrong.

Two months ago I was in a pub with a friend who I trust completely. “If you like Skull,” he said, “Then write this down. ‘Cockroach Poker’. Best £10 you’ll ever spend.”

Today I’m the proud owner of one “Cockroach Poker Royal”, the en-complicated 2012 sequel to 2004’s Cockroach Poker. And I’ll tell you what! It’s not just a great game of lying to your friends. It’s a great game of lying with your friends.

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