Shut Up & Sit Down

Impressions: Runebound 3rd Ed.

damage olives, don't swear live on twitch that would be bad, proboscis

Quinns: Paul, do you remember our Runebound review?

Paul: No? Who are you? Get out of my house.

Quinns: That’s because it doesn’t exist! I played the 2nd edition of fantasy quest game Runebound back in 2011 and didn’t think it was vitally important to tell our readers about it.

Paul: That’s probably because it wasn’t vitally important. It wasn’t the most compelling fantasy quest game I’ve ever played, either. It was a bit stodgy, a bit brown, a bit turgid, a bit-

Quinns: BUT PAUL! Fantasy Flight are about to release a new, beautiful, 3rd edition of Runebound and we PLAYED IT HERE AT THEIR WORLDS EVENT!

Paul: YES I KNOW THIS WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME here we are all asweat with excitement right now, reporting LIVE FROM THE SCENE and completely surrounded by X-wings and Netrunner decks and people live-streaming who have been repeatedly told DON’T SWEAR ON THE STREAMS.

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Games News! 02/11/15

bursting potions, chess rebellions, sleepy krakens, vlaada's hot nethers

Quinns: I write to you, toothbrush in mouth, suitcase open, packing for the trip of a lifetime.

Tomorrow Team SU&SD will fly to Fantasy Flight’s 2015 World Championships. We’ll be interviewing folks, previewing new releases and generally luxuriating at the world’s best publisher of licensed games. We are also going to steal so much stationary.

We’ll have lots of content up on the site for the next week, but probably in unusual shapes. In the meantime, here’s a quick Games News! A gasp of normalcy before Paul and myself climb onto a jetplane, bound for five days of board gaming. Ah, Roseville, Minnesota! Truly, a field of dreams…

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Spoiler-Free Review: T.I.M.E Stories

a dashing time traveller, a cannibal lady, a drunk man setting up an apple tv

T.I.M.E. Stories is a whole new kind of co-op board game

It’s time for another of 2015’s most breathtaking releases, and that’s not a euphemism for a fart. Rather, T.I.M.E. Stories is a whole new kind of co-op board game. Your team will complete each time travel scenario in a blistering five hours and then it’s time to buy a whole new deck, making this the most expensive game we’ve ever covered. Great Scott!

On the other hand, the only thing Quinns loves more than the movie Primer are board game expansions. What happens when an immovable force meets an unstoppable object? Tune in and find out.

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Review: Batman Miniature Game

capes capes capes, comedy rules, playable gangs, wolfish smiles

[Today we end our fascinating tour of 2015’s best and brightest miniatures games! If you missed Eric Tonjes’ previous, excellent reviews, do check out Infinity, Warmahordes, Dropzone Commander and Malifaux! And don’t worry. We’ll be bringing Eric back for any future miniatures reviews.]

Eric: Batman, Batman, Batman.

Do I have your interest? Eric here, and today we are finishing up our survey of some major miniatures games on the market. It’s been a fun trip, and I’ll still stick my head in occasionally, but I wanted to finish things off with a personal pick that, while perhaps not as popular as some of the big boys, is a newer offering that has something unique to present those interested in miniatures games.

That being, of course, Batman.

The Batman Miniatures Game by Knight Models (the only site it has is an official forum, astonishingly) is a small skirmish game which seeks to lovingly translate the universe of street level DC comics heroes and villains to the tabletop. You will form a gang of 4-10 miniatures and fight to both take out enemy models and score objectives. And you get to do this with Batman, the Joker, and dozens of other iconic characters.

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Games News! 26/10/15

capitalism, divorce stimulators, this is a fun site honest, tumble driers

Paul: QUINNS IT’S AWFUL.

Quinns: paul wha-

Paul: QUINNS IT’S AWFUL. HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS. IT’S AWFUL.

Quinns: paul of course i have not heard the news nor any other news this is games news this is where i hear the news pau-

Paul: QUINNS THE BUNNIES ARE GETTING DIVORCED.

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Spoiler-Free Review: Pandemic Legacy

willy wonka's disease factory, oompah-lampreys, oh god that's not chocolate

OH MY GOODNESS! Pandemic Legacy is upon us, daring men and women the world over to command the Centre for Disease Control for one grisly year. What components lie in wait in the box’s secret compartments? What will your story be?

Of course we had to provide you with the earliest possible review. You won’t find a more heartfelt, spoiler-free analysis anywhere.

Share this review, buy this game, fall in love, in that order. Board games don’t come much better than this.

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Podcast #34: The Great Antarctic Experiment

deadly winters, human knots, mysterious diseases, Quinns' stupid youth

In what could be our most exciting reader mail ever, Quinns has helped a marine biologist pick some board games to take to the above Antarctic research station for 18 months. Tune in next year to hear how those games fared against penguins, boredom and the deadliest winters on planet Earth.

But that’s not all! Join Paul and Quinns as they walk the tightrope of talking about Pandemic Legacy without spoiling a darn thing. Listen as they discuss other Game of the Year candidates Codenames and Mysterium. Laugh as they chat about the most dangerous games they played as kids, and moan with delight as they describe yet another perversely erotic folk game.

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Games News! 19/10/15

deadly briefcases, doomtroopers, fluffy hats, rapacious awe

Quinns: We proceed directly to the big news of the week, do not pass “Go”, definitely do not collect £200. Put it back!

Stonemaier Games has launched their Scythe Kickstarter upon the waiting world. At the time of writing it’s received a million dollars in just six days, and I’ve never found it so easy to see why.

You have Jakub Rozalski’s art and worldbuilding, pairing mechs with a rich tapestry of 19th century Eastern Europe. You have a timely design, offering the economic engine-building of Eurogames with the conflict and theme and tiny mechs that are going to get players excited. You’ve got a selection of editions to choose from, each of them generous, there’s friendly shipping to Europe, Canada and Australia, and you have Stonemaier Games’ money back guarantee. Don’t like the game after you’ve played it once? They’ll pay for return shipping and refund you completely.

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Review: 7 Wonders: Duel

spooky nans, fingering pickles, it's you, you're the wonder

Classical cock-blocking simulator 7 Wonders was one of the first boxes we ever recommended on SU&SD. We couldn’t believe it. How could a game could be so clever, so beautiful, and support 2 to 7 players with no downtime?

Today, Paul and Quinns have reunited to review 7 Wonders: Duel. A brand-new 2 player game of the same old ancient conflicts.

Have the boys still got what it takes? Or will history… forget them?

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How to Get Started with Roleplaying!

basically you're going to be sweaty and look out for direwolves

Artwork from Jason Morningstar's Night Witches

[Our header image is official art for Numenera.]

Hilary: So, you wanna play an RPG.

You’ve read the Shut Up & Sit Down reviews of Fiasco or The Burning Wheel. You’re daydreaming about a campaign of Apocalypse World. The idea of playing a baker in Ryuutama makes your heart melt.

You’ve bought the game, you’ve read the rules, you’ve gathered your friends, you’ve sharpened your pencils and now the magic happens. Well, uh, you assume this is where the magic happens. See, the rules didn’t necessarily explain how you were gonna “roleplay”. Just “then you play out the scene” or “make choices as your character” or “someone decides when the scene ends” or …hmm.

Hmmm.

It turns out there are spaces between the rules of any game left for you, the players, to fill in. Which is all well and good, but what if you have no idea what to do and you’re kinda worried maybe you’re gonna fuck this whole thing up and oh gosh maybe you’re not cool enough or nerdy enough or experienced enough or what if you forget which die is which or…

It’s okay! I’ve got you. Deep breaths. We’ve got this.

Sometimes magic just needs a helping hand.

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