What’s your favourite? Are all uncles cool/bad?
Ava: The rest of the team is in something called ‘Philadelphia’, so they left me to sweep up the last crumbs of pre-Christmas news. Only it’s not crumbs at all, there’s big news, weird news, premature news, barely news, local news and even some bad news. Pull up a chair and settle yourself down, let’s tuck into a big old roast news, stuffed with newslings and with all the greasiest news-trimmings.
Oh my word would you look at that. The biggest game in games is getting a frosty full-fat follow-up. Gloomhaven is heading north and getting a lot colder (which I can relate to, as I moved to Yorkshire three years ago).
Ava: Happy December, my beautiful news-children. It’s the season of barging around shops, loads of social obligations, wrapping up work and presents, slow news days, and it being really, really hard to stay sober. This week we’re focussing on what I optimistically like to call ‘presents for your future self’, but might more accurately be called ‘gambling on games that have limited incentive to actually be good because they’ve already sold out their stock before they started production’.
Sorry about the cynicism, honestly. I have a finite amount of Christmas Cheer, so I have to be really grumpy for most of December in order to still have some in reserve for the actual festive period. It won’t last all month, I secretly love Christmas.
[Tactics and Tactility is our column about the feelings, details and pleasures of tabletop gaming. This week Ava is looking at Quacks of Quedlinberg and the perils of prediction.]
Ava: I’m a potion maker, I’ve got a bag of secret ingredients. There’s magic spilling everywhere. In this moment, I know the exact odds of failure, and I make the fatal mistake. I say it out loud.
‘There’s only one thing that can kill me, and there’s loads in here. Knowing my luck, I’m doomed.’
I pull out that one ingredient, my cauldron explodes, and so does the table. A wave of sympathy and laughter. Of course I did the thing. A one in six chance was the only possible outcome.
Quacks of Quedlinberg is a simple push your luck game wrapped in the right trappings to take it off the table and into your hearts. It’s built out of simple probabilities, a little calculation, and the illusion of control. You pull tiny cardboard chits out of the soft, black bag you’ve built for yourself. You always know exactly how many of the dreaded berries inside can ruin everything.
Who wants to feel nervous and paranoid? Yes, more nervous and paranoid than normal.
Don’t Get Got is a party game that runs in the background of your normal life, able to turn a party or ordinary day at work into a nightmarish playground of the mind. It’s cheap, sweet, utterly unique, and gets people dancing for joy more frequently than we’ve seen in eight years as board game reviewers.
Don’t understand? You will! Just click play on the video.Read More
Ava: QUINNS QUINNS I’M ON A TRAIN!
Quinns: You’re writing the news from a train? I–
Ava: CHOO CHOO!
Quinns: I’m so glad you’re–
Ava: NEWS NEWS!
Quinns: Ok, I’m now looking forward to the wi-fi dropping you in about eight seconds.
Ava: CHOO CH-
Bending the very essence of TIME to our wills, this week we’re proud to announce that we’ve managed to compress 21 minutes and 11 seconds into ten minutes of human time. How did we do it? We’ll never tell.
10 Oink games, reviewed in just 10 minutes. Have we missed one of your favourites? Do let us know – there are plenty more Oink games in the sea, and we’ll soon be perfectly positioned to try them after the internet drowns us for the things we’ve said about Deep Sea Adventure.
Ava: Ooh hoo hoo. It’s late in the day for a news harvest, but I’m sure there’s still some pickings out in the fields. Let’s have a little news-pumpkin fesitval and think about chickens, gems, memories, moods, pretty mosaics, old worlds, new boats, weird moons and sadness.
Ooh I’ve gone autumnal maudlin. Let’s see if BoardGameGeek can shake me out of it.
Due to a clash with BGG Con, head honcho W Eric Martin won’t be making it to the Tokyo Game show this year. This is a shame as his tour of the Japanese game design scene is always pretty exciting. Instead he’s giving us a long distance roundup of just a few games.
This week Matt truly takes one for the team, with the team being humanity – and everyone within it. That’s right, he’s reviewed a fiddly eurogame that doesn’t have an especially useful manual. Cerebria is one hell of a thing, it’s just not remarkably likely that this thing will be for you. Find out, today, via the medium of Internet Opinion Video.