Paul: This is a disaster. Why can’t people put their mugs into the saucers gently. Why are they all bashing them together like toddlers.
Quinns: There are at least two women within ten feet of me who think they’re Carrie Bradshaw. I’m friends with a lot of writers and none of them look this stylish or pleased with themselves as they write. They all put their hair up and enter a kind of sticky and hypnotised state.
Paul: I did like that yappy animal that was behind you though. The one that looked like a Normal Dog that a level 5 wizard had cast Reduce Dog on.
Quinns: I don’t want to ever come back here. Why would anyone come here instead of sitting snug in the shadowy confines of a quiet pub. I feel like I’m in an iPhone advert.
Anybody? No? What if we were to tell you that Arkwright turns the manufacturing of bread, forks and lamps into a bruising war. What if we were to say that this game puts the very machinery of the industrial revolution in your hands, and allows you to grind your friends in its very cogs.
Would you want to play then?
We found out that learning geography CAN be fun in the tense game of Destination X. We learned that Lowlands is the best Uwe Rosenberg game since A Feast for Odin, and it isn't even designed by Uwe Rosenberg. We learned that the amazing-looking Starship Samurai is, perhaps, not as good as we were hoping. And we learned that Quantified - an upcoming game you've definitely never heard of - is a thought-provoking co-op game about surveillance and big data.
We also found out that the vikings that hang around outside the UK Games Expo are not to be trifled with, as Matt narrowly escapes being skewered by an actual spear. Finally, we implemented the OMEGA PROTOCOL: A quick-fire round of questions that were tweeted to us by the audience, right then and there. Huge thanks to everybody who came down and contributed to the veritable cyclone of questions that followed.
Quinns: Paul, it’s time for you to get a round in.
Paul: You don’t need to type that, I’m sat right next to you. Also it’s not even 1pm.
Quinns: Don’t give me that you NARC
Paul: OH GOD WHERE’S THE SPRAY QUICK OPEN A WINDO-
Quinns: It’s fiiiine Paul! This is something we can safely let into our homes to flit happily about, to land on our tables or to watch us from the shelves with its compound eyes. Santa Maria is quite harmless!
Paul: Harmless and… perhaps toothless?
Popping open the almost cartoonishly cute box, which appears to depict Santa Claus as armoured as he is jolly, we’ve got dice! We’ve got charming wooden tokens! We’ve got wonky jungle tiles! We’ve got… is this the terrifying face of an inflated baby, about to burst?!
Recently I was invited by SU&SD fan Annie Langley to give a presentation to her school kids aged 10-11 about being a YouTuber, since it's the job that most kids dream about. With a lot of help from my wife (who I can't thank enough for telling me to remove all the bar charts from my talk), I put together this 20 minute rundown of what my work is actually like.
I know that a lot of SU&SD fans are parents, so I thought I'd chuck the talk online in case it's of interest. Honestly, I worry that very few YouTubers or Streamers talk about the technical or psychological stresses of this job, and I feel like the world would be a healthier place if there was a bit more of a conversation around it.
00:00 - Intro about my job and board games
06:49 - Me talking about the mental health problems with producing content (without using those exact words)
12:46 - Me talking about the technical bit of the job: scripting, lighting, microphones and editing
18:21 - Me telling kids to go and make things, but do so safely. Also, a poorly-chosen Hunger Games analogy
Paul: What?! But Fantasy Flight have only just released the revamped starter set!
Quinns: Yeah. As you’d imagine, the unexpected announcement has left the Netrunner community in a state of shock.
In this episode of our award-winning podcast, Matt, Quinns and Paul discuss the hellish lumber management of Lignum, the lumbering hell-management of Huns, they have a troubling conversation about Holding on: The Troubled Life of Billy Kerr and have a good laugh about Band Manager: The Boardgame.
After that? This show throws open the doors of the SU&SD law courts.
Matt claims that Quinns threw away his copy of Pandemic Legacy Season 2, and is requesting that he pays £65 in damages. Quinns would prefer not to pay the fee and has invited a real-life lawyer, his friend Clark Burscough, onto the podcast. Will he be proven guilty, innocent, or somewhere in between?
This podcast is also available as a video.
This week, I’ve started by bagging a particularly curious catch. Let’s look at the enormous and extraordinary City of Chaos!
But what will Matt and Quinns make of it? For one thing, this wouldn't be the first time that Lord of the Rings was accused of being too long.
Click play, and let their opinions seep into your very bones.