Review: Ten Candles

these things are true: the world is dark, and we are alive
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[Introducing RPG columnist Cynthia Hornbeck! As a former Utahn, temporary Minnesotan, PhD dropout and current public school teacher she is radically overqualified for a job with SU&SD. Please, nobody tell her.]

Cynthia: Hello, dear readers! I'd like to invite you all to accompany me to the end of the world, and to your death. Don't worry! I assure you that you're perfectly capable and prepared for the end – as it manifests in the phenomenal indie storytelling game Ten Candles, that is.

Ten Candles is a flexible, firelit game of "tragic horror" designed by Stephen Dewey and published by Cavalry Games. And I'm so totally in love with it. It's many scenarios take place in a variety of apocalypses where thick darkness blankets the earth and an evil force known as "Them" threatens humanity. Oh I know, there are plenty of post-apocalyptic games out there, and I imagine you're all raising your hands to ask what's so special about this one. Well, let me show you. Because what's special about Ten Candles is pretty much everything.


GAMES NEWS! 16/01/17

la première super méga extension, jingly bells, from the creator of mascarade: sex
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Quinns: Huddle up, friends. Here we are in the depths of winter with nothing more to burn than the castoff cardboard frames from which we punch our tokens. It is cold and it is dark.

Paul: Yet the warm heart of Shut Up & Sit Down beats strong, emboldened by the news of games to come. This week we’re going to tell you about PRINCESSES and SPICES and AN EXPANSION FOR CAPTAIN SONAR. 2017 is already up to speed and it’s looking glorious. Which one thing are you most excited about?

Quinns: Yes! Do leave a comment below. Share your youth and vigor with us old men.


Review: Troyes

quintin's pheremones, matthew's buttery pastry, a hot cup of dice, ladies
To usher in 2017 as a year of good fortune, we’re trying all sorts of superstitions. Paul wrote “FLUXX” on a bit of wood and threw it in a river, while Matt and Quinns have chosen a classic for their first review. Troyes is a beloved 2010 game that’s enjoying a well-deserved restocking this month.

But last year we were spoiled for choice when it came to lightweight eurogames! Will Troyes triumph over Orléans, Concordia and Istanbul?

Thanks for your patience, everybody. It feels great to be back.


Double Review: Blood Bowl and Guild Ball

sport, sports, blood sports, mind sports, spoooooorts
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Eric Tonjes, our esteemed miniatures game correspondent, has returned and the CROWDS HAVE GONE WILD! Vendors are sobbing into their hot dogs! Babies are being tossed in the air by baby-tossing machines! Everybody, let the man speak...

Eric: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're here to talk about sports! Sports are perhaps the ur-games. Probably organizing alongside early militaries as tools for training and proving of skill, they have grown to eclipse armed conflict for many, serving as a sort of proxy for violent aggression. But what happens when sport seems unnecessarily violent, and we need a proxy for that?

Today we're looking at two possible solutions. Blood Bowl is the grandparent of sports miniatures games. It's a rollicking high fantasy version of North American football in which you can violently maim opposing players. Guild Ball, meanwhile, is a newcomer to the scene which has quickly gained a following. It is a gritty low fantasy version of soccer (or "actual football") in which you can violently maim opposing players. While there are nuances to the themes, both games are clearly competing for similar space. So, in true sports fashion, let's put them in a ring and see which one scores the most points. Or violently maims the other player.


GAMES NEWS! 09/01/17

an explanation for paul, a rally for quinns, a gory mish-mash, a Heidelberger
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Quinns: Please, everyone, take your places, fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands INSIDE THE VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES as we welcome you to a brand new year of board gaming, a year that promises to be a WILD RIDE.

Paul: Good morning! Good afternoon! Hello! Happy New Year! The Games News has been building up like snow over the holidays and we’ve been doing our very best to clear it, shoveling the path and salting the drive. Nevertheless, it’s impossible to avoid slipping on some exciting new gossip or falling face-first into a pile of previews. Let’s get right into things by talking about… oh no.

Robo Rally.


Podcast #51: The Pearple’s Choice Awards

quinns at the oscars, paul in a gang, alien offices, rare husbands
We don't want to tell you how to live your life but you might want to put on a tie or a string of pearls or BOTH before listening to this very classy podcast.

The results of the inaugral Pearple's Choice Awards are in and noteworthy hosts Paul Dean and Quintin Smith discuss the games that won Best Expansion of 2016, Best Reprint and (of course) Best Game. They chat about some old classics they've played over the festive season, like City of Remnants and Galaxy Trucker. Finally, they want to tell you about a folk game that's come all the way from Peru.

2016 has been a spectacular year for board games and once again, next year looks even more exciting. This can't be sustainable. Or can it?


Review: Kingdom Death: Monster

lost ding dong, goes to eleven, you are masticated
While we don't usually review Kickstarter titles, we've made a very particular exception for this seasonal special, with Paul taking a long and very hard look at at the "boutique horror" of Kingdom Death: Monster. Why this? Why now? A new version of Kingdom Death is back on Kickstarter and generating astounding amounts of interest (and cash). It was all the excuse we needed to plunge into this enormous beast and tear at its innards.

Have a terrific weekend, everyone. If you decide to spend it out in some snow, or fighting monsters, or even just rolling particularly large handfuls of dice, do remember to stay safe!


Podcast #50: Our Top 5 Games of 2016!

quinns in bed, paul in iceland, the pearple's choice, a shocking twist
Hold onto your listicles, Paul and Quinns are celebrating the 50th ever Shut Up & Sit Down podcast (by recording a podcast (they are unimaginative)) and we want you to join us!

In this tawdry tornado of numerology the site's aged founders discuss Spyfall 2, Tyrants of the 1derdark and the Final Fantasy Trading Card Game (which has numbers in it) before dropping their respective top 5 board games of 2016. We'll warn you now, make sure you're sitting down when you hear Quinns' number one.

If anyone can't bear the wait until podcast #51, here are the winners of the Pearple's Choice Awards.

Enjoy, everybody!


GAMES NEWS! 12/12/16

tumbling protagonists, twisting highways, sentient fungus
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Paul: Attention please, passengers! Now arriving at platform two is this week’s Games News, stopping at High Fantasy, Kickstarter Reflections and Wargaming Central. A light buffet service of links will be available throughout the trip and free wifi is offered for your convenience.

Quinns: Paul I have trapped my coat in the carriage door.


SU&SD Play… Arkham Horror: The Card Game!

the nude FBI, making grapes, good buddies, a machete
It could be the voices that whisper ceaselessly inside our skull, but it seems everyone is talking about Arkham Horror: The Card Game! We're only going to review it after a lot more plays and a few more expansions, but for now why not watch Matt and Quinns play the first chapter of the first campaign? For reference, here's that Garth Marenghi thing they keep referencing. If you haven't yet seen it, do get the DVD. You're in for a treat.

And hey! Since we're in the middle of a donation drive right now and it's the season of giving, we've got yet another video coming in just a few days. Want it a clue? It rhymes with "Wingdom Beth Ponster Peview." What could it be... ?