Shut Up & Sit Down

Games News! 1/12/14

written on a plane, flat spin, tom cruise on a cruise?, goooooose!

Paul: Okay, listen up. This is how Games News is going to work today. I’m Tom Cruise from Top Gun, you’re Val Kilmer. You’re Val Kilmer. Idon’tcarewhoyoureallyare! You’ve brought a friend? They can be the other guy, but not the guy who dies. The important thing is that we’re all cool and this is some cool, post-BoardGameGeek Con news (that’s some of our Board with Life pals having fun above). We’re getting real serious and smooth and even a bit dangerous here, so strap yourself in, fire up your jets and turn up the sound, because I feel the need… the need for news!

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The Opener: Love Letter & Gingerbread Pears

a knife or something, It's pronounced Coup, Brendovia, Right down to the navel

At last, we give the video treatment to one of Shut Up & Sit Down’s favourite games, Love Letter! On this Opener, Matt explains why this petite, elegant and excellent game is both an essential and a great way to introduce new people to the hobby.

It’s not just an excuse to dress up, not at all, and Matt actually has a very interesting story related to that.

It is an excuse to show you how to make gingerbread pears, perfect for any holiday season.

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Review: Paradise Fallen & Yardmaster

coffee table board games, the whirlpool that isn't, paul's disappointed face

Pip: Brendan, you know that thing when your parents ask you to look after their plants or cats or whatever while they go on holiday and suddenly the crushing weight of responsibility and not abusing the access you suddenly have to the wine cupboard rests heavy on your shoulders?

Brendan: I have heard of this feeling.

Pip: Is that what’s happened with Shut Up and Sit Down with Paul in the US and Quinns off in Bali? And now we have to water the board games and take the cards to the vet?

Brendan: What? What are you doing with that watering can? Get away from the board games! Oh God, what have you done? Everything is all… mushy.

Pip: No no, it’s fine, there are two left! Yardmaster and Paradise Fallen. We can still do a review of these and Paul won’t do his disappointed face at us.

Brendan: I hate Paul’s disappointed face. It looks like Gary Oldman. Still, it’s kind of wet and cold in here now.

Pip: Pub?

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Review: Zooloretto

Paul's pandas, kangaroo kidnap, leering lions

Pip: I’m currently playing single-player Zooloretto. It doesn’t have a single player mode so I’ll explain that in a moment. In the meantime, what on earth is Zooloretto?

Zooloretto is a game about running a zoo. The aim is to collect animals, pack enclosures with them and augment these with kiosks, all of which give you points. Your zoo starts as a board with one barn and three enclosures, each of which has a different number of squares corresponding to how many camels or kangaroos they can hold (before the creatures presumably starve, turn on one another or climb atop their friends to escape). There are also spaces overlooking the enclosures where you can put the kiosks that, in a real zoo, would be dispensing stuffed toys, souvenir keyrings and emergency ponchos to stressed parents.

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Games News! 24/11/14

skull merger, enhanced durable and good, just buy funemployed okay

Paul: Oh dear. Oh dear. Well, yes, I’ll be honest with you, your injuries are serious, but with the expert care of the Games News Paramedics, we can save you. In fact, we can rebuild you.

You’ll need extensive work. It’ll be a long stay. I suppose the first move would be to replace all the blood you’ve lost, so I’m pumping your circulatory system full of the Second Edition of Funemployed. That’ll perk you right up. Are you ready?

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Review: Tammany Hall

oily slander, high-fiving horrid disgusting little children, Spanish for The Grande

This week, Paul looks at the notorious Tammany Hall, a game all about the not-entirely-pleasant, not-completely-wholesome New York political machine that was cranking its way through the second half of the 19th Century.

Is it a cynical game for cynical times? Perhaps, but the reprint was certainly a terrific Kickstarter success. The much more important question is… just how good is Tammany Hall?

Here’s your answer!

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We’re making changes to subscriptions and the Gold Club!

real talk, endless tea, Quinns is very probably still alive

Paul: If you’re a Gold Club member or donor, first of all, let us again say thank you for your support. Thank you! You are terrific and you’ve made us sustainable and better as a site, as well as happier and much less stressed as people. You’ve enabled an awful lot of fantastic things to happen with and to Shut Up & Sit Down.

It’s been a while since we last billed our subscribers. We’re going to be doing it again at the start of December, but on a different, monthly schedule. We wanted to make sure you knew what was happening beforehand as a) you might be surprised to be billed for the first time in a while and b) you might also wonder why we stopped in the first place.

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Review: Colt Express

incentivisation of the workforce, varmints, [bang bang]

Silas: Yeeee-hawww! Hello, pardners. My name is Silas McCoy and I’m here to tell y’all about Colt Express, a game of action, danger and the free life of a train-robbing outlaw. Yeeee-haw!

Brendan [exhausted]: Ah. Ho. Ho boy. Hi, everybody. I hope this man didn’t frighten you. This is Silas, a fictional character I invented when I realised I was going to be late for the review. I sent him ahead with his horse, which I also created. Such is the power of the board game journalist. Phew. But now that I have arrived, I can-

Silas: Stick ’em up.

Brendan: What? Hey, that’s my wallet! No, Silas! Come back here, or I swear I’ll… Hey! Stop riding around on that thing. And stop firing your gun in the air, it’s irresponsible. Don’t make me invent a sheriff, Goddamn you!

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Games News! 17/11/14

wave your stumps, bellimania, throat-crushing, anybody want a peanut?

Paul: Hello, viewers, and welcome to another edition of Games News! On this week’s show, our contestants are Sven, Lucia and Juanita! Let’s also welcome back Henry, who is returning from last week’s show mostly intact. Wave your stumps, Henry!

All right, everyone, you know how the show goes. Let’s get things started with the Quickfire Round! First question: What’s the new game from Love Letter creator Seiji Kanai that we should be getting all amorous about?

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Review: Lords of Xidit

Aberystwyth, Hero app, He knows he doesn't sound like David Bowie

This week’s review must be one of the most colourful games we’ve tried this year. It certainly has more purple wizards than anything else we’ve ever played.

The vibrant Lords of Xidit Lords of Xidit is a game of fantasy questing, of bard songs, of wizard towers and of programming your way in front of everyone else. Does that sound like a rather strange mix of ideas? Just wait until you see what Quinns and Paul come up with when they try to put their spin on things.

This review is presented with profound apologies to David Bowie.

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