Quinns: Sorry to anyone who’s been punching F5, hungry for news. I’ve been in recovery. Paul and I played some new releases yesterday and ALL THREE were disappointing. Halfway through the third we wore the sour expressions of mountain climbers. I think I saw Brendan crying.
But let’s speak of something EXCITING! Eight-Minute Empire, pictured above, looks wicked. It’s a racecar-fast area control game where players simply take turns to select a card, develop their control of a board, and expel a winner from their midst. It was Kickstarted earlier this year, and is currently sat in the middle of a tiny hype-tornado.
Now, check this out! The standalone sequel, Eight-Minute Empire: Legends, is on Kickstarter already! It’s already broken its goal with the series’ characteristic speed, so that’s a very reasonable place for your money to go this week.
But perhaps you were looking for something a little… stronger? The Euphoria Kickstarter offers a big ol’ game about power struggles in a Dystopian world that looks as robust as any fit, leathered-up fascist.
None of these big Kickstarter are safe bets, but Euphoria looks better than most. It’s from the designers of Viticulture, a respected game of wine-making. They understand the grave importance of playtesting, which they did through Viticulture’s backers. The art looks great. Best of all, they state their inspirations as Alien Frontiers, Tzolk’in, and The Resistance, every one which is a SU&SD favourite. In fact, they just might be trying to roll us.
Speaking of rolling, they’re tearing through their stretch goals, including some VERY nice custom dice symbolising how the working class like cogs or something. Go take a look!
Or MAYBE you were looking for something a little… sillier? The Kickstarter for Epic Death! The Card Game offers the chance to own something like a more beauteous, thoughtful Munchkin. Which might not be hard, since I’ve picked gunk off my mousepad that’s more beautiful and thoughtful than Munchkin.
ANYWAY, this looks pretty great! Rather than having to climb through Munchkin’s levels, which always feels like trying to climb a greased staircase in a sleeping bag, Epic Death! has you trying to get your adventurers killed off by the biggest monster possible. Which is very, very clever! If you win, you get loot. If you die, you get points. I’ll take it.
Or maybe you were looking to Kickstart a profoundly suggestive steel toy. Yours for just $34! I am literally only posting this because I was hypnotised into watching the entire pitch video and am now trying to share my bumfuzzlement.
None of which is the most exciting news this week! Ladies, gentlemen. You are not ready for this.
Duel of Ages 2 has been announced, and oh my god, I could not be more excited.
I got my start in board games by paying attention to every word that came out of Tom Vasel’s mouth, so when he called the then out-of-print Duel of Ages his favourite game ever, I sat up straight. It sure does sound like preposterous fun. It’s basically a tactical fighting game. Who’s fighting, you ask? It’s EVERYBODY.
In a mortifying belch of subject matter, Duel of Ages lets musketeers fight space marines in an elven forest. It lets Blackbeard grab an assault rifle and battle skateboarding werewolves across a city block. Whatever you want to fight, however you want to do it, Duel of Ages will provide. It basically a strong example of a game-as-storytelling engine.
AND Duel of Ages 2 will provide it harder and faster, with (I love that they mention this) a 12,400 word manual, as opposed to 18,500 words.
Give it to me. Give it to me NOW. I mean, just look at one of the games Paul and I played yesterday!
Reiner Knizia’s Ingenious. A game of putting some goddamn coloured things in a goddamn coloured line. THANKS REINER.
It was actually ok. See, Paul and I had eggshell-like psyches before we started memorising the rules for an endless series of complicated games. Some day soon, we’re going to crack, and when that day comes – when we’re reduced to tears by some 800 word paragraph in a rulebook – Ingenious is the kind of game we’ll be able to play in rehab.
Don’t worry about me, though. If I’m going to have a breakdown, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather do it for than you guys. Besides, Paul looks lovely in pyjamas.