Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Abyss

pearls, clams, su&sd godhead, butlin's at skegness, cirri

Quinns: Paul, you’re tracking water on the carpet and you’ve got a starfish on your forehead.

Paul: Oh! Sorry. I’ve been running around the undersea realm of Bruno Cathala’s Abyss. Don’t worry, though. Written reviews are rarely canonical so the carpet will probably be fine.

Quinns: What?

Paul: Well, it’ll be fine in the canonical universe. After this review finishes our story will return to the SU&SD godhead and this reality will, in all likelihood, be erased.

Quinns: What?!

Paul: You know, like how I killed you in our review of Descent 2nd edition.

Quinns: WHAT? But I’ve still got so much to live for! I wanted a wedding-

Paul: Life is full of surprises, and so is Abyss! Let me get these barnacles out of my ears and I’ll explain.

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Subscriptions are on hold, and we’re extending the donation season

lair of the bee lord, the nether-realm of bureaucracy

Hello donors!

We opened the current donation season for Gold Club #4 a little late, so we’re going to be accepting donations for a little longer and shipping the bag a little later (though above you can see a SNEAK PREVIEW of Paul’s forthcoming RPG module, The Lair of the Bee Lord, illustrated by Steve Hogarty). This also lets people who’d like access to our new forums (see that button in the upper right?) still make any donation at all to get access.

Since all subscriptions that were scheduled to bill you guys on the 1st of October would go towards Gold Club bag #5, we’ve put all subscriptions on hold and will re-activate them next month once we’ve had time to catch our breath. Those of you who’d still like to make a regular donation towards nothing more than the continued running of the site can still do so via a one-time donation.

Thanks so much everybody!

— Team SU&SD

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Games News! 29/09/14

be the cartoon, smuggle the drugs, program the bandit, eject the patient

Quinns: Morning everybody! This is the second time we’ve used Colt Express’s 3D train as our header image, but that’s because it’s a 3D train. I live in hope other board game publishers are reading this and paying attention.

Heralding the game’s release in a few months, Ludonaute has published an exhaustive official site. The site contains a manual, and the manual contains good news! This game’s going to be an absolute cluster****. But in a good way!

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Review: Five Tribes

unrubbings, hilarious tomatoes, paul's will, paul's new element

Ooh, it’s an exciting day. Not only is Five Tribes one of the year’s prettiest and most anticipated boxes, it’s also the most Paul and Quinns have disagreed on anything. EVER.

Sit back, relax, and watch the sparks fly. Or just hit play to watch Matt furtively cover his nips. You… you’ll understand in a minute, ok.

(Bruno Faidutti’s blog post on the game’s theme can be found here.)

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Tips for running a Tournament

consign winners to the basement, kick out some jams, drink

Quinns: This weekend I did something a little scary (and a little sexy). I’ve been attending casual Netrunner meets for almost a year, but this month I finally took the plunge and organised my very own tournament. Forty strangers and a few of my friends were brought together under one roof for the noble pursuit of cyber-warfare.

I thought sharing how I did it (and what I learned) could be useful for a few of you guys, and maybe coax you into running something similar. Due to having all the fun in the world I’ll now be holding these monthly.

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Kotaku Article: Thoughts on D&D 5th Edition

keith the elf, craven the thief, investio the wizard, cool sex

Quinns: While SU&SD’s Star Wars RPG campaign will continue unabated like some grimy, stuttering starship, I’ve also been playing the new edition of Dungeons and Dragons. Did you know how good it is? It’s Chaotic Good. Good like a +3 Long Sword of Goodness and Being Clever.

This week I filed a Kotaku column all about just how smart and timely it is. The words include, but aren’t limited to, these ones…

“You know how when movies or sitcoms depict D&D, people sit down and within 60 seconds they’re being ambushed by goblins, panickedly figuring out who they are and what they’re carrying? That’s what the beginner box offers. Printed on the back of each character sheet are instructions on how to level up, especially relevant in this version because (again, just like video games) the many and varied power trees of your character class open up gradually. Only once you’ve been playing for two evenings will you be asked whether your Rogue wants to be a Thief, Assassin or Arcane Trickster. And if you decide to pick up the Player’s Handbook for the full rules, you’ll find funny, witty charts to help players down the unsettling path of roleplaying.”

But I also manage to squeeze some sex and glassblowing in there. Go read!

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Games News! 22/09/14

waterworld, gawping faces, difficult faces, widdle wargames, ian's box

Quinns: Morning, everybody! For the second week running we’re leading with our Kickstarters, this time with action movie RPG Feng Shui 2.

I know about the original Feng Shui because of the time my friend was breathlessly espousing one of the mechanics. Your character is more likely to pass a check if they’re doing something ludicrous. So, shooting two bad guys is a harder check to pass than throwing a bottle between them, then shooting it so it explodes. Or dodging a falling rock is harder than uppercutting it in half.

If that hasn’t sold you on it, I’m not sure there’s anything else I could say. But I’ll try!

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Donations are now open!

papercraft, the lair of the bee lord, bee secrets, uncut team covenant footage

Hello everybody!

It’s an exciting day for us. First off, our fourth ever donation season is now open but will close at the end of September, so if you’d like to support us or want in on the 4th Gold Club please pledge in the next 12 days. Unless you’re a subscriber, of course, in which case you can sit back, crack your knuckles and feel a sense of harmony with the universe.

But wait! There’s more! An early test version of the official SU&SD forums is now open to anyone who’s ever made account with us by donating. There’s no need to be in the Gold Club to get an account. Whatever donation you like will get you in there if you’d like to chat about board games, roleplaying games, or just how to fix Finland.

Thanks so much for the support, everybody.

— Team SU&SD

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Review: Samurai Spirit

wereboars, quinns' japanese heritage, middle aged animals, impromptu makeouts

One of the first reviews we ever wrote was of Antoine Bauza’s Ghost Stories, back when SU&SD was little more than a twinkle on our camcorder’s four gig SD card.

Clearly we’re getting old. This year will soon see the release of Samurai Spirit, an all-new Bauza game of protecting an all-new village. What will Quinns make of it? More importantly, what will he make of that box?

Have you heard about the box? Oh dear. We have some bad news. Are you sitting down?

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Review: 1944: Race to the Rhine

rommel's wotsits, axis-a-snax, matt did say tiny wooden trucks

(Images courtesy of BoardGameGeek.)

Thrower: General Patton chewed his cigar and look East, over the Rhine, into Germany. He’d done it. By loading his divisions down with fuel, he’d stolen a coup on the other Allied commanders and made it to the river first.

Now, only the 155th Panzer Brigade stood between him and the history books. Disorganised and demoralised, they were no match for his crack US corps.

Suddenly the field telephone crackled into life. “Sir? Sir! We can’t action that advance order. The troops have no ammunition. Montgomery requisitioned the lot.”

“WHAT?” bellowed Patton, spraying out a mouthful of cheesy wotsits. “That British f*** took EVERYTHING? Jesus!”

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