Keep Calm and Carry A Flamethrower

board games, Excitement, treachery, panic station
Hello, my Lindels! There are far too many games on the horizon that look positively incredibells. Here’s another one landing in the next few months: Panic Station.

Keep Calm and Carry A Flamethrower

Trust no-one and fear everything in a CO-OPERATIVE NIGHTMARE!? I think I need a lie down. As for the actual game, OK- when was the last time you watched The Thing?

In the excellent Pattern Recognition, William Gibson describes paranoia as a fundamentally egotistical emotion. Think everyone’s out to get you? Please. You’re not that important. This must be why I’m so excited about Panic Station. Who doesn’t want a chance to actually be that important?

This is a co-operative game where four to six players move both androids and human troopers through a base with one mission: “to find and destroy the Parasite Hive hidden somewhere in the inner depths of this hell.” Oh, baby.

Keep Calm and Carry A Flamethrower

Secretly though, one of the players will be a Host for the parasite, and that player will want the humans to fail. He’ll also want to come into contact with other troopers, thus secretly infecting them and bringing them over to his team. Gradually the infection will spread, and spread, and SPREAD, with only a heavy dose of paranoia standing between each player and infection, until (hopefully) everyone on the human team starts believing they’re the last one left. Just imagine it.

PAUL:OK. I’m at the Hive entrance. I just need one more canister of fuel for my flamethrower and I’ll be able to torch it.

JULIE: Oh, I’ve got one. I’ll come deliver it.

PAUL: STAY BACK!! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!

JULIE: Oh, my god! I’m human!

PAUL:How can I believe you?

JULIE:Oh, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to delay us! I’m shooting Paul and taking the flamethrower!

PAUL:No! You’ll destroy us!

JULIE:I’LL DESTROY THAT LYING MOUTH OF YOURS

Beautiful. And all the while the openly infected players are getting closer and closer. I can’t wait. You’d better believe we’ll be bringing you the earliest possible review.

— Quinns