SU&SD Recommends 17 - Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Netrunner

Quinns: Finally, after six months of waiting and countless allusions on the podcast,
Android: Netrunner is back in stock and OUR REVIEW IS HERE. Click here to head over to the mighty Eurogamer.

Oh, and what a surprise! It’s the best collectible card game we’ve ever played.

“Here’s a game defined by inescapable tension. Playing as either side, you’re always able to make grim estimates of how far you are from victory, while the other player could win at any point. Worse, even the most lovingly crafted deck will often feel like a second antagonist. Both sides need programs, yes, and events and resources, but you’ll need money for all of those, and so sitting down to play Netrunner absolutely feels like you’ve taken a seat under a sword of Damocles that you’ve fastened there yourself.”

Oooh, yes. We like this one. Go read!

I’m actually playing in a Netrunner tournament with some friends this Sunday. We’ve all agreed not to look online for tips, but I wonder if we had anyone keen to give me NBN tips in the audience… ?

Quinns: Hey! You’re up late. Come here, I want to show you something. Isn’t she becautiful? She’s called… “El Grande.”

What? She looks old?! Could you have some respect? Yes, she’s old. She was released in 1995, but she’s still for sale today because she’s a classic. She’s also one of my favourite games, and you’re going to listen as I tell you why. No, you can’t go to bed. Sit down. You might learn a thing or two. No you can’t have a glass of water. You screwed that up.

The thing is, we’re covering a lot of flashy games these days. Games of neon dice, plastic warriors, of mechanics so thick and layered as to resemble some glutinous design lasagne.

I like El Grande because it knows you don’t need any of that to be grand. It has almost royal quality you won’t find in any of this cardboard pomp.

The Opener: Ladies & Gentlemen and Homemade Scones

Get ready to GET EXTRAVAGANT! The Opener is a search for the perfect way to start your board game night. Already, in the second ever episode, Matt might have found it.

Ladies & Gentlemen is a team game about Victorian women shopping furiously for a glamorous ball, as well as the husbands they command like so many nervous ponies. How angry could you get about an imaginary dress? You’re wrong. You’re so wrong.

Matt also suggests you make scones, which are apparently the adorable training wheels of the baking world. We wouldn’t know. Our oven’s been broken since Paul baked Talisman that one time.

SU&SD Play... Memoir '44: Operation Overlord

August, 1942. The Germans begin their deadly assault of the Russian city of Stalingrad.

April, 2013. Team SU&SD assemble to recreate that fateful battle. But with more food. And arguably, more swearing.

The 2-8 player Overlord scenarios for featherweight wargame Memoir ’44 are unbelievable fun. To recreate them, you’ll need EITHER two copies of Memoir ’44, or, as seen here, ONE copy of Memoir ’44, ONE copy of the Operation Overlord expansion, and ONE of the official Battle Maps. Got that? Great.

WARNING: No amount of preparation will actually prepare you.

Splash! Splutter. Cough. You’ve just washed up on the shores of the best game we’ve looked at in ages.

Friends, newcomers, children of all ages, please enjoy this review of the ethically dubious Archipelago. It’s early days, this might end up being our game of 2013. Who knows? If Archipelago teaches us anything, it’s to plan for the future. The future, and also for what you’re going to do with all those sodding pineapples.

Enjoy, guys.

Paul: Now Quinns, I know you’re still obsessed with Mage Wars-

Quinns: WIZARD! Oh my God did you read the part where your spells-

Paul: But if you don’t mind, I want to INTERJECT with an alternative game people could buy this week. Something sleeker and easier, that I think anyone can play, not just the people who wanted to be manticores when they grew up.

Quinns: I don’t understand. Are you still coming over tonight? I wove you a beard to wear out of my armp-

Paul: I’m SAYING I’m coming over, but I’m bringing Libertalia instead. I want to recommend this one to everyone. I think it’s really quite special.

We can’t get enough of The Resistance. We’d mainline it if we could. It’s a perfect game that cuts a table full of people into ignorant heroes and traitorous spies. All the good guys need to do is send three teams on three succesful missions, which is tricky… because the spies know who one another are.

It’s a game better seen than explained. Only then will you suffocating weight of the lies this game spawns. Here, we’re playing The Resistance: Avalon, a standalone sequel with an Arthurian theme.

Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game

Quinns: BAAAA! Ba-da-baa! Ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba (ba-ba-ba-ba) ba-ba-da-ba ba baaaaaa… BA BA BA BAAAA. BAAA! Ba ba ba BAAA ba! Ba ba ba BAAAA ba! Ba-bam-ba-baaaa…

That is me singing the STAR WARS theme. I am singing it for you. It is a special treat.

Fantasy Flight’s owned the Star Wars license for more than a year now,
but all that’s meant for us is one passable card game. Until today. The X-Wing Miniatures Game is THE release this month. Tiny, pre-painted spaceships, jinking past lasers that could reduce them to a sneeze in less time than it takes an extra to scream “I’M HIT”.

But SHOULD YOU BUY IT? Short answer: “Yes.” Long answer: “Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah,” followed by a thoughtful pause and a speech like this…

Paul: Draw Christmas, without drawing a Christmas tree. How would you do it? The clock is ticking. Tick tock, tick tock. Tick. Tock. Maybe you’d draw a Christmas dinner! Of course! Wait, no, what you’ve drawn looks like the Last Supper fix it QUICKLY NOW oh dear too late everyone’s finished and you didn’t even bother trying to guess what they were drawing-

Quinns: Don’t be difficult. You’re being difficult-

Paul: DRAW “DIFFICULT.”

Quinns: I’m going to go ahead and stick my fork-like opinion into your ribeye reality, here-

Paul: That’s disgusting.

Quinns: Dixit is a multi-award winning game that everyone should know about. An honest-to-god revelation. That’s because where most board games test your logic, wit, or even dexterity, Dixit tests your ability
to toy with the imagination of your friends.

Imagine you were reading some beautiful, surrealist children’s novel and the rag-tag band of loveable protagonists wander into a smoky tavern for
a drink of… apple ale, or something. Dixit is the card game they would start playing that would get you whispering “Man, why doesn’t that exist in real life.”

But Dixit is as real as it gets, and you should have a good long think about buying it.

Review: Netrunner

Review: El Grande

The Opener: Ladies & Gentlemen and Homemade Scones

SU&SD Play… Memoir ’44: Operation Overlord

Review: Archipelago

Review: Libertalia

SU&SD play… The Resistance: Avalon

Review: Star Wars: X-Wing Miniatures Game

Review: Pictomania

Review: Dixit

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