Heavy Games 8 - Shut Up & Sit Down

SU&SD Play… Archipelago: War & Peace

Sun! Sea! Sand! And the growing threat of murder from an indigenous populace. Before we jetted off for the Lake Geneva Gen Con Convention we snuck in a cheeky game of Archipelago with the War & Peace expansion.

If you haven’t heard of this one, definitely think about watching our review, even if it’s just for the reference pineapple. This is a magnificent, strange, colourful game, but not an easy one. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

Oh, and we know about the many and varied rules we got wrong. But it wouldn’t be a SU&SD Let’s Play without it, eh? Enjoy, everybody!

Quinns: At the end of last year the rumbling around Russian Railroads became unignorable. Once a day I’d notice my mug of tea trembling as this game’s engine sped across the internet with a roar of hype. I decided to let it pass, though, knowing that if the rumours were true then this train, then progress itself would soon arrive at my sleepy flat.

Sure enough, Z-Man Games recently sent it over. Russian Railroads is a proud, barrel-chested member of a category called “Hard Euros”, and while that sounds like a DVD you’d find in the bargain bin of a sex shop* these are among the least sexy of games. Rather than forcing players to battle directly (which is RUDE), Eurogames offer a proxy-puzzle for players to simultaneously sweat over.

You might remember our review of T’Zolkin: The Mayan Calendar, with its dizzying, rotating gears, or our awe at the piglet maths of Castles of Burgundy, or our more recent video reviews of Caverna or Terra Mystica, each one an impressive eurogame. Today the industry is choked with these hale, rubust puzzles. Stepping inside the creaky carriage of Russian Railroads I had one question lurking at the bottom of my brain like cerebral sediment. “This game’s going to be clever and all, but do we need it?”

So Mars is under attack from Reiner Knizia, right, and Team SU&SD are the only ones who can stop him. We also welcome back Susie Pumfsk, and Brendan is an alien!

Look, don’t ask questions. Basically we had too much sugar and when we regained our senses we’d filmed this extra-special episode, featuring reviews of Infamy, Time’n’Space AND Rex: Final Days of an Empire, with time to spare for a re-review of Netrunner (original review here).

Huge thanks to Rachel Leipacher for her vocal stylings and to Team Covenant for their sexy Netrunner footage. And everybody, beware of Knizia. Even if some of his games are suspiciously good, he’s still out there. Watching. Waiting. Mathsing.

Thanks so much, everybody!

(Donor note! This is the second of our super-videos, promised in the stretch goals of our first donation season. Did you miss the first, our Megagame Special? Definitely don’t miss that! That would be awful. — Team SU&SD)

Are you ready for the most half-arsed impersonation of explorers Lewis & Clark the internet has ever seen? We’ve got you covered. We’ve also got a lengthy review of much-hyped board game Lewis & Clark, on the off chance you come here for the board game reviews.

It’s an interesting game, though. In a year when fantastic eurogames are coming thick and fast, like hail in the Great Plains, this one looks pretty enough to make a name for itself. But does it have that frontier spirit? Quinns will let you know. Probably. Assuming he doesn’t get distracted and start talking about sodding Timeline again.

Quinns: Readers with their finger on the pulse (of strategic wine-making board games) might be aware of this Kickstarter for Tuscany: Expand the World of Viticulture. Totaling $277,258 at the time of writing, it offers a copy of the much hyped Viticulture, unavailable since the first Kickstarter in 2012, as well as a new, massive Tuscany expansion.

In other words I finally have a reason to review the ludicrously heavy copy of Viticulture which Stonemaier Games sent me a year ago, before triumphantly flinging it out of my window, killing a passerby in my desperation to get it out of my life.

OR WILL I? As you’d imagine from Viticulture’s continued bobbing atop the public consciousness like chunks of cork in a bottle, this game’s really very good.

The more we play it, the more we feel that Living Card Game Android: Netrunner is one of the greatest things happening in table gaming right now. A deadly, tense game that evolves every single month, with players around the world panicking and giggling over new data packs.

Following on from Quinns’ review, we thought we’d finish our coverage with a Let’s Play. But not just any Let’s Play. Here, Quinns walks Matt through his very first game, which we hope (together with the hypnotising official tutorial) should give you all the encouragement you need to get started.

Look how easy it is! …To end up dead at your computer! But also, to have a lovely time. If you do decide to get involved, Terminal7‘s the Netrunner podcast you want, you’ll find those fancy tokens here, and Meteor is your online deckbuilder tool. Good luck, everybody.

The sequel to Agricola is here, and it’s the heaviest and most expensive game we’ve ever reviewed. A titan of the table.

There’s no question. Caverna: The Cave Farmers is the most fun you’re going to have managing animals, minerals and vegetables. But should you buy it? Paul and Quinns stand… divided.

It is written, and so it came to pass. The house of Fantasy Flight hath released Eldritch Horror, a sequel to their venerable “gaime” Arkham Horror, and we have… opened the box.

And guess what! It’s pretty good! Anyone expecting us to give this a bad review might be pleasantly surprised.

Paul’s gotten into hides over the Holiday break, Quinns has a flowchart he wants to show you and Reference Pear’s relatives have gone missing. Anyone expecting anything new from SU&SD in 2014 will be disappointed.

Oh, wait! We also reviewed New Amsterdam, a highly-respected game of trading furs and takin’ names, and we have another instalment of Quinns’ supremely valuable Netrunner Tips. Perhaps we have some worth after all!

Paul: Hey Matt! Quinns and the others are going down the pub and they asked me … well, they didn’t ask, exactly, but I thought you might get … erm, wanna come?

Thrower: No. Can’t you see I’m working?

Paul: Is that a ledger? Are you an ACCOUNTANT? I presumed you lived on secret backhanders from the Pentagon. What’s this game here?

Thrower: That’s A Distant Plain. It’s got solo rules, so I was hoping to play during my break. But I think I made a poor choice.

Paul: How so? It isn’t very good?

Thrower: I wouldn’t say that. But let’s step back. A Distant Plain is a game about the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan and its ongoing consequences. In this, it’s an astonishing rarity. Politics isn’t generally done in board games which, when you consider it, is an appalling dereliction of duty. These are social games, things you drink beer and chat over instead of hunched on the sofa, half-dressed, shivering and alone before a flickering flatscreen.

SU&SD Play… Archipelago: War & Peace

Review: Russian Railroads

The Second Sci-Fi Special

Review: Lewis & Clark

Review: Viticulture

SU&SD Play… Android: Netrunner

Review: Caverna

Review: Eldritch Horror

Review: New Amsterdam

Review: A Distant Plain

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