Impressions: A Game of Thrones: The Card Game (2nd Edition)

tyrell, then who cares, then stark, then lannister, then martell, then baratheon
Impressions: A Game of Thrones: The Card Game (2nd Edition)
Quinns: In a couple of weeks the 2nd edition of Fantasy Flight’s Game of Thrones: The Card Game, with its direwolves, chunky coins and endless pictures of sultry nobles, will be released. A lot of people are very excited, and with good reason- the 1st edition amassed a cult following, and the 2nd edition looks incredibly sharp.

You won’t be getting our review just yet. As a Living Card Game, this box encourages players to collect monthly expansions and build their own decks, and we want to have conviction when we suggest you get involved (or not). But I can offer some early impressions and comparisons to the LCGs that this site has gone on the record as recommending, namely the bizarre Doomtown and the sublime Netrunner (on the subject, Paul will have a review of Plaid Hat’s new card game Ashes in the next few weeks).

So let’s begin. How do you win the Game of Thrones?

I’m thrilled to say that it’s by being an appropriately sneaky f***.

Review: Fief

hot popes, hard rains, cold blood, jamiroquai, hitler
SU&SD is host to a grand old game today! Fief is a negotiation-heavy wargame that's been around since 1981, and a fancy new edition titled Fief: France 1429 has just arrived. What will the boys make of it?

This review features a special segment on WHEN BOARD GAMES GO BAD. It's a tear-jerker.

Review: Trajan

dollops of thought-sauce, squeaking men in england, quintin's attic
Buckle up, boardkids! It's time for Team SU&SD to tackle the Official 38th Best Board Game of All Time: Trajan. A game of thrashing as many victory points as you can out of Ancient Rome.

Don't believe what you've heard. Shut Up & Sit Down can still handle heavy eurogames.

...or can they?

Review: Specter Ops

Tiny car, actually doing history, laundry stealth challenge
What's this, sneaking into Friday's schedule? Why, it's a review of Plaid Hat's hotly anticipated Specter Ops, a hidden movement game from one of the industry's most renowned publishers.

Paul takes a long, hard look at the game and... well, has anyone taken a long hard look for Paul recently? Actually, it's probably best not to. He appears to have both gone missing and gone a little... mournfully malfunctional. This is the first time that's happened since last time. Do let us know if you spot him, or even any part of him. Probably don't approach him, mind.

Best not dwell on that. Have a lovely weekend!

Review: Forbidden Stars

nubs for the nub throne, all of the guns, oh what a lovely war
Review: Forbidden Stars
Quinns: I don’t really like the Warhammer universes. When I was a kid I couldn’t get enough of them. “In the grim darkness of the future there is only war”? Holy shit!

These days I find them a little tired. Conflict is exciting, but not without peace to contrast it with, and not when you siphon all the humanity out of it. Where's the ego and romance? Where are the themes and mysteries? And obviously: Where are the women?

Let me wrap this up before people start sending me photos of Sisters of Battle, or pointing out that the expanded universe is awesome (I know!). My point is I was a little grouchy when I opened up of Forbidden Stars, Fantasy Flight’s new, striking war game set in the Warhammer 40K universe.

I'm happy to say that Forbidden Stars defrosted my icy heart. This game is sensational.

Review: Nations & Imperial Settlers

zepplins, ziggurats, marie curie, quinns' unorthodox lunches
Imperial Settlers is a civilization-building game with the best art we've ever seen in almost five years of running Shut Up & Sit Down. Nations, on the other hand, looks like a Soviet spreadsheet.

Review: Panamax

satisfying shunting, paul in a bath, puppies in a fun tunnel
So it turns out that Paul has actually always had something of a fascination for big ships. It also turns out that Panamax mixes big ships with big business and (very) big bucks. After all these years, could this be the way that Paul finally makes his millions?

Of course not. It's a board game. Still, it could be good, right? Let's see what Shut Up & Sit Down's North American Correspondent thinks in a video made in the style of some of our very first reviews.

Review: Elysium

poseidon the god of jerks, ares the god of points, apollo the god of extra bits
Review: Elysium
Quinns: So you walk into your local board game shop, eager to make a purchase. An unhealthy, bubbly excitement starts building inside you, as if you were a shaken can of cola. You scan the shelves, letting your obsession rise from the pit of your stomach to slightly above your stomach. You’re taking one of these boxes home.

So you drop to all fours, ready to begin the hunt. The shop owner doesn’t give you a second glance. He’s seen it all before. You prowl between the aisles, buttocks undulating like a pair of bald men being ritually drowned. What’s this? Elysium... ?

It’s a brand new release from Space Cowboys, the hot young publisher of the wonderful Splendour and the entirely passable Black Fleet. Elysium looks great! It’s got cards, Greeks, gods, it looks lovely and it’s different every time you play.

“STOP!” comes the cry, as I slide down a nearby fireman’s pole (was it there before?!).

“My name is Quinns,” I continue, squeaking all the way down as the pole rubs between my bare thighs. “Allow me to tell you whether to buy Elysium using... a review.

Review: Xia: Legends of a Drift System

bastard captain of the a****** ship, shia, xia, velocity wardens
It's big, it's as colourful as a bag of sweets and it wants YOU to become a space-faring superstar. Xia: Legends of a Drift System was one of the Kickstarter success stories of 2013, and a retail version is finally upon us, complete with pre-painted ships and metal space-coins.

Quinns has buckled himself into the driver's seat of this board-behemoth to deliver the official SU&SD verdict.

Holy Cow: Doomtown Is Pretty Neat

pastelboys, a bad circus, the 17th space hussars, Quinns' sex thing
Holy Cow: Doomtown Is Pretty Neat
Quinns: I want to play Doomtown: Reloaded a little more before I'm ready for our official review, but I also want to write about it before SU&SD wraps up for the year. Greedy boy that I am, I intend to have my cowboy cake and eat it by writin’ up some impressions.

Silas: Yeeee-hawww! Let’s get to it.

Quinns: ...Who are you?

Silas: Ah’m Silas McCoy, a fictional character invented by that dirty Brendan fella fer his Colt Express review. Yeeee-hawww!

Quinns: Yeah, I don’t think so.