You won’t be getting our review just yet. As a Living Card Game, this box encourages players to collect monthly expansions and build their own decks, and we want to have conviction when we suggest you get involved (or not). But I can offer some early impressions and comparisons to the LCGs that this site has gone on the record as recommending, namely the bizarre Doomtown and the sublime Netrunner (on the subject, Paul will have a review of Plaid Hat’s new card game Ashes in the next few weeks).
So let’s begin. How do you win the Game of Thrones?
I’m thrilled to say that it’s by being an appropriately sneaky f***.
This review features a special segment on WHEN BOARD GAMES GO BAD. It's a tear-jerker.
Don't believe what you've heard. Shut Up & Sit Down can still handle heavy eurogames.
...or can they?
Paul takes a long, hard look at the game and... well, has anyone taken a long hard look for Paul recently? Actually, it's probably best not to. He appears to have both gone missing and gone a little... mournfully malfunctional. This is the first time that's happened since last time. Do let us know if you spot him, or even any part of him. Probably don't approach him, mind.
Best not dwell on that. Have a lovely weekend!
These days I find them a little tired. Conflict is exciting, but not without peace to contrast it with, and not when you siphon all the humanity out of it. Where's the ego and romance? Where are the themes and mysteries? And obviously: Where are the women?
Let me wrap this up before people start sending me photos of Sisters of Battle, or pointing out that the expanded universe is awesome (I know!). My point is I was a little grouchy when I opened up of Forbidden Stars, Fantasy Flight’s new, striking war game set in the Warhammer 40K universe.
I'm happy to say that Forbidden Stars defrosted my icy heart. This game is sensational.
Of course not. It's a board game. Still, it could be good, right? Let's see what Shut Up & Sit Down's North American Correspondent thinks in a video made in the style of some of our very first reviews.
So you drop to all fours, ready to begin the hunt. The shop owner doesn’t give you a second glance. He’s seen it all before. You prowl between the aisles, buttocks undulating like a pair of bald men being ritually drowned. What’s this? Elysium... ?
It’s a brand new release from Space Cowboys, the hot young publisher of the wonderful Splendour and the entirely passable Black Fleet. Elysium looks great! It’s got cards, Greeks, gods, it looks lovely and it’s different every time you play.
“STOP!” comes the cry, as I slide down a nearby fireman’s pole (was it there before?!).
“My name is Quinns,” I continue, squeaking all the way down as the pole rubs between my bare thighs. “Allow me to tell you whether to buy Elysium using... a review.”
Quinns has buckled himself into the driver's seat of this board-behemoth to deliver the official SU&SD verdict.
Silas: Yeeee-hawww! Let’s get to it.
Quinns: ...Who are you?
Silas: Ah’m Silas McCoy, a fictional character invented by that dirty Brendan fella fer his Colt Express review. Yeeee-hawww!
Quinns: Yeah, I don’t think so.