" " - Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Zooloretto

Pip: I’m currently playing single-player Zooloretto. It doesn’t have a single player mode so I’ll explain that in a moment. In the meantime, what on earth is Zooloretto?

Zooloretto is a game about running a zoo. The aim is to collect animals, pack enclosures with them and augment these with kiosks, all of which give you points. Your zoo starts as a board with one barn and three enclosures, each of which has a different number of squares corresponding to how many camels or kangaroos they can hold (before the creatures presumably starve, turn on one another or climb atop their friends to escape). There are also spaces overlooking the enclosures where you can put the kiosks that, in a real zoo, would be dispensing stuffed toys, souvenir keyrings and emergency ponchos to stressed parents.

Paul: Oh dear. Oh dear. Well, yes, I’ll be honest with you, your injuries are serious, but with the expert care of the Games News Paramedics, we can save you. In fact, we can rebuild you.

You’ll need extensive work. It’ll be a long stay. I suppose the first move would be to replace all the blood you’ve lost, so I’m pumping your circulatory system full of the Second Edition of Funemployed. That’ll perk you right up. Are you ready?

This week, Paul looks at the notorious Tammany Hall, a game all about the not-entirely-pleasant, not-completely-wholesome New York political machine that was cranking its way through the second half of the 19th Century.

Is it a cynical game for cynical times? Perhaps, but the reprint was certainly a terrific Kickstarter success. The much more important question is… just how good is Tammany Hall?

Here’s your answer!

We're making changes to subscriptions and the Gold Club!

Paul: If you’re a Gold Club member or donor, first of all, let us again say thank you for your support. Thank you! You are terrific and you’ve made us sustainable and better as a site, as well as happier and much less stressed as people. You’ve enabled an awful lot of fantastic things to happen with and to Shut Up & Sit Down.

It’s been a while since we last billed our subscribers. We’re going to be doing it again at the start of December, but on a different, monthly schedule. We wanted to make sure you knew what was happening beforehand as a) you might be surprised to be billed for the first time in a while and b) you might also wonder why we stopped in the first place.

Silas: Yeeee-hawww! Hello, pardners. My name is Silas McCoy and I’m here to tell y’all about Colt Express, a game of action, danger and the free life of a train-robbing outlaw. Yeeee-haw!

Brendan [exhausted]: Ah. Ho. Ho boy. Hi, everybody. I hope this man didn’t frighten you. This is Silas, a fictional character I invented when I realised I was going to be late for the review. I sent him ahead with his horse, which I also created. Such is the power of the board game journalist. Phew. But now that I have arrived, I can-

Silas: Stick ’em up.

Brendan: What? Hey, that’s my wallet! No, Silas! Come back here, or I swear I’ll… Hey! Stop riding around on that thing. And stop firing your gun in the air, it’s irresponsible. Don’t make me invent a sheriff, Goddamn you!

In Colt Express, you play a bandit robbing a train at the same time as other bandits, and your goal is to become the richest outlaw of the Old West.

The game takes place in a 3D train in which the bandits can move from one car to another, run on the roof, punch the other bandits, shoot them, rob the passengers, or draw the Marshal out of position. The train has as many cars as the number of players, and each car is seeded with gems, bags of loot or suitcases at the start of play.

Paul: Hello, viewers, and welcome to another edition of Games News! On this week’s show, our contestants are Sven, Lucia and Juanita! Let’s also welcome back Henry, who is returning from last week’s show mostly intact. Wave your stumps, Henry!

All right, everyone, you know how the show goes. Let’s get things started with the Quickfire Round! First question: What’s the new game from Love Letter creator Seiji Kanai that we should be getting all amorous about?

The last remaining hope for restoring peace to Xidit lies with the Kingdom’s noble heirs, the Idrakys, who roam the Kingdom recruiting brave soldiers and reclaiming threatened cities.

Fantasy adventure Lords of Xidit features simultaneous programming and an elimination-based scoring system that leaves no room for complacency. At the end of the game players compare their influence in one category and the player with the least influence is eliminated and his pieces removed from the board; players then compare influence in another category, with a player again being removed. The order of elimination is randomly determined at the start of play, forcing you to thinking in different ways each game.

This week’s review must be one of the most colourful games we’ve tried this year. It certainly has more purple wizards than anything else we’ve ever played.

The vibrant Lords of Xidit Lords of Xidit is a game of fantasy questing, of bard songs, of wizard towers and of programming your way in front of everyone else. Does that sound like a rather strange mix of ideas? Just wait until you see what Quinns and Paul come up with when they try to put their spin on things.

This review is presented with profound apologies to David Bowie.

The dwarves hide in the shadows of the trees from the wandering light. The burning tea-light (adult player) moves through the dark forest and tries to find the small dwarves in their hiding places. If a dwarf is touched by the light, it is frozen and not allowed to move anymore. The other dwarves try to release it. To achieve this they must wait until the light has gone far enough so that one of them can join it in the shadow. All the dwarves try to unite under one tree while the candle tries to freeze the dwarves. Who will win, the light or the dwarves?

Shadows in the Woods is a cooperative game for players 5 years and up. An adult player for games where children play is required, due to the open flame of the candle. An alternative version included in the rules is intended for players 7 years and up, and is quite a bit more challenging. The alternative version does not require an adult player, but does require adult supervision. (The light doesn’t move.)

Review: Zooloretto

Games News! 24/11/14

Review: Tammany Hall

We’re making changes to subscriptions and the Gold Club!

Review: Colt Express

Colt Express

Games News! 17/11/14

Lords of Xidit

Review: Lords of Xidit

Shadows in the Woods

Feeds