Sometimes Team SU&SD can be compared to a marching band, except instead of playing musical instruments we make awful mistakes, and instead of moving forward we stay in the same place forever. Not today, though! Today, in podcast #28, we prove our competence. Paul discusses overcoming Panamax‘s awful manual to discover the fabulous game within, … Read more
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Paul: Quinns, could you keep the noise down- oh my God, who are all these games?
Quinns: Did we wake you up? Sorry! I just thought I’d invite a few of our favourite board games round for a nightcap and a cigar.
Paul: This is nuts. I hardly recognise any of them. It’s as if this week there have been exciting developments exclusively regarding games we like, and this party is an elaborate premise for a roundup of the week’s news.
Quinns: Yes
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So it turns out that Paul has actually always had something of a fascination for big ships. It also turns out that Panamax mixes big ships with big business and (very) big bucks. After all these years, could this be the way that Paul finally makes his millions?
Of course not. It’s a board game. Still, it could be good, right? Let’s see what Shut Up & Sit Down’s North American Correspondent thinks in a video made in the style of some of our very first reviews.
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Mythic Greece. As an upstart demigod, you want to earn the favor of the Olympians and become a figure of legend yourself. Gather heroes and powerful artifacts, please the gods and bear their power to write your own epic tale.
Let your allies achieve their destiny and enter the Elysium, home of the glorious and the brave. Once the stories are written, only one demigod will be chosen to stand at the side of Zeus. Elysium is a game of set collecting and combinations in which players recruit cards representing heroes, items, powers and gods. These cards have many different powers and you can create powerful combination to earn gold (the help of the gods) and victory points (the favor of the gods). Each card belongs to one of the eight Olympians gods (a family), and shows a level (1 to 3).
During the five turns of the game, players will try to transfer their cards to the Elysium and write their own Legends, which are series of cards from the same family or from different families of the same level. The more epic the Legends, the more favor from the gods they’ll earn. But as they go to Elysium, most cards lose their power and players will therefore have to renounce some of their combinations !
A game of balance and opportunity with simple action, but constant dilemmas and complex strategies.
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Quinns: So you walk into your local board game shop, eager to make a purchase. An unhealthy, bubbly excitement starts building inside you, as if you were a shaken can of cola. You scan the shelves, letting your obsession rise from the pit of your stomach to slightly above your stomach. You’re taking one of these boxes home.
So you drop to all fours, ready to begin the hunt. The shop owner doesn’t give you a second glance. He’s seen it all before. You prowl between the aisles, buttocks undulating like a pair of bald men being ritually drowned. What’s this? Elysium… ?
It’s a brand new release from Space Cowboys, the hot young publisher of the wonderful Splendour and the entirely passable Black Fleet. Elysium looks great! It’s got cards, Greeks, gods, it looks lovely and it’s different every time you play.
“STOP!” comes the cry, as I slide down a nearby fireman’s pole (was it there before?!).
“My name is Quinns,” I continue, squeaking all the way down as the pole rubs between my bare thighs. “Allow me to tell you whether to buy Elysium using… a review.”
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Paul: Quinns, what is this place?
Quinns: Paul, this is the place I come to every weekend to prepare for Games News. Here they provide only the choicest cuts of gaming information, the freshest servings.
Paul: Quinns, I’m not sure all this stuff is ethically sourced. Look at the menu. There’s a platter of unattributed and speculative announcements, a buffet of Kickstarter links that looks long since spoiled and the soup of the day is just another expansion that nobody’s actually provided any photographs for.
Quinns: But we’re not eating from the regular selection. We’re going into The Back Room, where we can choose our still-squirming news, watch as it’s slain before us and prepared to exactly our parameters.
Paul: That’s horrific! What sort of a place would do such a thing?! Except I guess any seafood restaurant, which is all the proof you’ll ever need that seafood is disgusting and that everyone who enjoys it is bad.
Quinns: Come quickly. They’ve got a table for us.
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Dogs of War is an elegant game set in a steampunk-influenced renaissance universe. Noble houses engage each other in a series of fierce battles, and it’s up to the players and the Dogs of War they control to deploy their private armies in support of whatever house they wish to favor. Clockwork knights and imposing war machines shift the tides of war as they enter the battlefields, but the interest of their Dog of War captains actually lie in the rewards offered by each noble house to its supporters. Each Dog of War has a special ability that helps them claim influence, win battles, or betray the house to which they’ve sworn allegiance!
Dogs of War is not a game of pure military power, but rather a game in which deception and betrayal often lead the way to a decisive victory. The goal for the Dogs of War is to earn the most power by the end of the game. Thanks to thoughtful game design and development, there are many ways to achieve this, like defeating other captains in battle, getting rewards from the Houses you help, amassing gold and troops, and most importantly, gaining influence with the most successful Houses.
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Quinns: This was meant to be a video review. Alas, my PC overheated. Repair parts are already enroute (thank you, indomitable Gold Club members!) but the show must go on, so I need you guys to imagine everything that follows with the glitz of a fancy video.
Picture the light playing over linen-finished game boxes. My powerful arms cradling components as if they were a baby animal. The caramel baritone of my voice.
You see, it’s important for your board game collection that you take Dogs of War as seriously as possible. It turns out this is a fantastic game. It’s also a terrible, friendship-sundering thing that made me more angry than a game’s made me in months.
Let’s get started. There’s a war on, and you need to pick a side.
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Paul: Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.
Quinns: Paul! I hear that you have recently been playing the Friedemann Friese one player card game called Friday.
Paul: We, we, we so excited.
Quinns: I know it well and actually I thought you’d have some interesting-
Paul: Which seat do I TAAAAKE?
Quinns: DON’T MAKE ME BLOWDART YOU.
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