Shut Up & Sit Down

Review: Gaia Project

a bloated boxer, a wibbly purple, a wonky illustration, interstellar nutella

Quinns: Everybody, stand up from your chairs! Pull up your pants. Spit out that gum. An esteemed classic has returned.

We reviewed fantasy town-building game Terra Mystica back in 2013 and found ourselves submerged in strategic nirvana. Today 28,000 people have rated it on BoardGameGeek, awarding it in an average of 8.3 out of 10. That’s shockingly high considering just how complicated and odd Terra Mystica is, with its challenging puzzle squished in between ugly mermaids and magic bowls. But there you have it! It’s just that enjoyable.

This week we’re looking at the sequel, Gaia Project, which is a big deal in more ways than one. As well as swapping Terra Mystica’s musty fantasy for a sci-fi backdrop, it’s more expensive, more complicated and demands significantly more table space. All set up, you’re looking at an asteroid belt of iconography.

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Games News! 29/01/18

dates, do dates have wasps in, no that's just figs, phew, sea bears

Quinns: Good morning, my sweet creatures of the table. There’s only one story that could possibly kick us off this week: How a Random New Zealand Man Became a Character in Rising Sun.

To summarise, CMON’s ludicrously successful Kickstarter game, Rising Sun, was this month shipped to some 32,000 backers only for a few people to begin asking about this “Kotahi” stretch goal miniature. The backers couldn’t find any Japanese folklore by that name, but they did find a fake Wikipedia entry where someone put their friend, Kotahi-Manawa Bradford, in Wikipedia’s list of Japanese mythical creatures as a joke. In other words, research for Rising Sun was being done via Wikipedia and as a result a random Maori guy was immortalised in CMON’s biggest release of the year.

CMON have since stated that they were indeed “tricked”, and have sent a couple of copies of the game to Kotahi and his friend in a coy bit of PR, but I’m not sure they come out of this looking good.

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Review: Cockroach Poker Royal

hot ants, cool dogs, regal bats, and an average man

As our team continues playtesting and preparing for the first of the year’s Big Reviews, here’s a cheeky appetiser! While Quinns was on holiday this month he filmed a couple of lightweight reviews on his favourite travel games, starting with the ever-entertaining Cockroach Poker.

(Yes, we published an article about Cockroach Poker before, but in 2018 our written articles reach a fraction of the audience that our video reviews do. In other words, if a game’s absolutely awesome then us writing about it is basically the worst thing that could happen to it, so going forward you can expect us to occasionally re-visit a classic game in video format.)

(And no, you’re not wrong, Quinns mentions Galaxy Trucker in this video but forgot to film that bit of the script. His waterlogged English brain was probably struggling with all that sunshine.)

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SU&SD Play…. Dungeons & Dragons, Part 2

acquisition mode, the fabled swamptopus, man is literally the real monster

It’s time to rejoin the adventures of Badger Kennington, Mr. Balderk and Sean Dragonborn! Our group’s inevitable descent into “being the bad guys” continues apace.

If you missed part one, check it out right here. If you want to watch more from our sickeningly good guest dungeon master, Mark Hulmes’ own channel can be found here. Or were you looking for something a little… stronger? If so, all of SU&SD’s role-playing game coverage is here.

Tell you what, this “Dungeons & Dragons” thing is a lot of fun. Expect big things from this game. As cutting edge board game critics, we’d stake our reputation on it.

Review: Necromunda: Underhive

in memoriam lyv, an itchy brain, a timid lover, a beloved lasgun, a two-part head

[We once again welcome SU&SD miniatures correspondent Eric Tonjes for a report from some far-flung warzone. If you’ve not yet caught up on his work for us, do so on the double!]

Eric: A few years ago I had the chance to revisit the grade school I attended as a child. It was a jarring afternoon. The huge hallways were suddenly kind of small. I could see over the bookshelves in the library where I used to get lost. The teachers… several of them were younger than me. I walked in the door feeling nostalgic; I left a bit unsettled.

I found myself remembering that visit as I got ready to open Games Workshop’s new remake of Necromunda. A skirmish game set in the collapsing underbellies of hive cities in the Warhammer 40,000 universe, the original Necromunda one-upped the grim darkness of the 41^st millenia by adding gangs, drugs, slavery, abject poverty and child soldiers. To a 15-year-old me, it was a thing of glorious joy. Yet I wondered, would this turn out to be just another narrow-halled school with five-foot bookshelves?

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Games News! 22/01/18

this web site is pointless, sumsong, chris quilliams can you see this, you are so good

Quinns: Good morning everyone! I’m back from a holiday in India where I watched a lot of Kabaddi, ate a lot of dosas and explored a little bit of ancient Hampi.

Ack, I’ve only been back at my desk for a few minutes and I’m already playing havoc with the Games News brand. Not one of those links takes you to a rousing piece of honest-to-betsy board game news. Please, let me start your week with some links that do.

As always I like to give the top story to the game with the prettiest header image, and this week that means the glossy Kickstarter of “Ridley Scott’s Alien but Don’t Tell His Lawyers” board game Nemesis. As any Shut Up & Sit Down reader will know, you’ll struggle to find a bigger Kickstarter curmudgeon that ol’ Quintinius P. Smith, but Nemesis’ campaign is so assured, so dramatic and so generous that even I found my mouse finger twitching towards the “Back this Project” button.

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Dungeons and Dragons with Mark Hulmes

Snake Buds, Another Glass of Breakfast, Unexpected Debts

January 20, 2018 Let's Play

Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeons & Dragons (5th Edition), Role-Playing Games, Mark Hulmes

Last year we transported our bodies to Bristol for a day of filming with Mark Hulmes – a Dungeon Master extraordinaire who specializes in creating high-grade fun within the realms of Dungeons & Dragons. Be aware that whilst we’ve snipped out the swearing, the series does contain infrequent graphic descriptions of violence.

Joined by friend of the show Pip Warr, we delved into a world of monsters, fine wine, and terrifying levels of socioeconomic privilege. Quintin squeezes into the boots of a tired and possibly dangerous Dwarf, Pip is a Druid Dragonthing who doesn’t entirely understand humans, and Matt is just a terrible man who also unfortunately seems to have acquired a gun.

This is a three part series which will continue next Wednesday, and shortly after this one wraps up we’ll have a video of the same group playing The World Wide Wrestling RPG. Honestly, it is quite the thing.

Chomping at the bit for more? Please enjoy this video from last year’s SHUX in which the team and friends played through a D&D adventure as the cast of Rat Queens – with the author of the series acting as Dungeon Master! We had an absolute blast with that one, although do bear in mind that it is honestly very rude.

Dungeons and Dragons with Mark Hulmes

Snake Buds, Another Glass of Breakfast, Unexpected Debts

Podcast #71: The Dragonholt Assault on Fake Eggs

Matt and Paul regroup for a post-festive ramble through the wilderness of sentient cardboard. Paul shares some thoughts on Legacy of Dragonholt and Celestia – which Matt is comedically unable to recall too clearly. Meanwhile, Matt has been toying with the free co-op app for Imperial Assault – and compares his experiences with this to the recently-reviewed Gloomhaven, for your pleasure / horror. We then talk a little about the shocking phenomenon of fake board games, as covered by Paul in this week’s news, and finally cap off the first pod of the year by addressing the hard-hitting issue of S.N.A.C.K.S. Basically, Paul is mildly interrogated about cookies. Who – in truth – is the real cookie monster? Only the cold hands of time will decide. Thanks for listening!

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Games News! 15/01/18

50s scoffing, flaccid accusations, painful wretched metal body

Paul: Happy New Year, one and all! As I turn the lights back on at Shut Up & Sit Down, stoke the boilers and put the hamsters back on the treadmills, I watch our site slowly coming back to life. The gears turn, the pistons thrust and the Supercomputer blinks back into a state of self-awareness, giving for just one nanosecond a familiar scream that signals the eternal understanding that it will be forever trapped inside its painful, wretched metal body.

I hope your 2018 has started well! The news has been piling up in drifts, so I’ve scooped out some of my favourite bits. Feel free to leave any more stories you are particularly excited by in the comments below!

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