Review: Don’t Get Got

poster child for a smarty-pants, bad buttonin', the box wants to be cut up

Who wants to feel nervous and paranoid? Yes, more nervous and paranoid than normal.

Don’t Get Got is a party game that runs in the background of your normal life, able to turn a party or ordinary day at work into a nightmarish playground of the mind. It’s cheap, sweet, utterly unique, and gets people dancing for joy more frequently than we’ve seen in eight years as board game reviewers.

Don’t understand? You will! Just click play on the video.

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GAMES NEWS! 25/11/19

penny-fight, cetacean versus paintin', an ol' race-faff

Ava: QUINNS QUINNS I’M ON A TRAIN!

Quinns: You’re writing the news from a train? I–

Ava: CHOO CHOO!

Quinns: I’m so glad you’re–

Ava: NEWS NEWS!

Quinns: Ok, I’m now looking forward to the wi-fi dropping you in about eight seconds.

Ava: CHOO CH-

Read moreGAMES NEWS! 25/11/19

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10 Oink Games Reviewed In 10* Minutes

minerables, most boys, Honey I shrunk the games, this is just juice

Bending the very essence of TIME to our wills, this week we’re proud to announce that we’ve managed to compress 21 minutes and 11 seconds into ten minutes of human time. How did we do it? We’ll never tell.

10 Oink games, reviewed in just 10 minutes. Have we missed one of your favourites? Do let us know – there are plenty more Oink games in the sea, and we’ll soon be perfectly positioned to try them after the internet drowns us for the things we’ve said about Deep Sea Adventure.

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GAMES NEWS! 19/11/19

A sticky and skull-encrusted wicket, a Portugeuse puzzle puddle, a back-up bird bath

Ava: Ooh hoo hoo. It’s late in the day for a news harvest, but I’m sure there’s still some pickings out in the fields. Let’s have a little news-pumpkin fesitval and think about chickens, gems, memories, moods, pretty mosaics, old worlds, new boats, weird moons and sadness.

Ooh I’ve gone autumnal maudlin. Let’s see if BoardGameGeek can shake me out of it.

Due to a clash with BGG Con, head honcho W Eric Martin won’t be making it to the Tokyo Game show this year. This is a shame as his tour of the Japanese game design scene is always pretty exciting. Instead he’s giving us a long distance roundup of just a few games.

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Cerebria: Emotional Turmoil with a Purple Pillar

A worm named desire, land of orangina, cones of brainshire, positive thunks

This week Matt truly takes one for the team, with the team being humanity – and everyone within it. That’s right, he’s reviewed a fiddly eurogame that doesn’t have an especially useful manual. Cerebria is one hell of a thing, it’s just not remarkably likely that this thing will be for you. Find out, today, via the medium of Internet Opinion Video.

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GAMES NEWS! 11/11/19

a lonely space bureaucrat, gnarly jackets, Big Spitting Bumpy Boys

Quinns: Woo! I don’t know what your weekend was like, Ava, and I don’t want to be coy, but I played a *very* large board game that I’ll be covering in our big, year-end blowout review.

Ava: How large are we talking?

Quinns: OK, imagine how big a board game should be.

Ava: *closes eyes* I’m doing it.

Quinns: It’s even bigger than that!

Ava: Oh my.

Read moreGAMES NEWS! 11/11/19

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Your Introduction to… Carl Chudyk!

MSpaint nudity, a fiery finish, a bucketful of hope, Carl's sequential kinks

Ava: Welcome to an occasional series introducing you to a single, storied game designer. Today I want to tell you about the games of a man called Carl.

Certain designers have a set of obsessions that shine brightly when you put all their work together. There’s a pattern of passions that unite their work. Carl Chudyk is my my board game design crush, and it’s because he ploughs a furrow that nobody else could. His games are relics from a weirder, smarter world. He builds layered puzzle-systems where possibilities multiply at every turn. They’re challenging to learn, but a delight to wrangle.

It’s odd though. I struggle to recommend them to people, even though they’re my favourites. I don’t like to push people into an experience that might feel horrible the first time round. It’s like asking someone to dive into a river that will be cold until they adjust.

But I want to talk about Carl Chudyk anyway. Once you’re swimming with him, you’ll find something you couldn’t get anywhere else.  You’ll open tiny boxes and find yourself tucking ideas under possibilities and watching your table turn into a sea of systems. You’ll still be finding surprises on your hundredth play.

You’ll get stories. Stories of the time a game felt different to anything else.

These aren’t reviews. There’s no time for that.

Instead I’m going to dissect a few games, pull out a few gutsy details, and see if I can read in the entrails why Carl is the way he is. Why he fills me with wonder and what makes me scream. Take a deep breath. It’s a fast river, you might not be able to get out.

Read moreYour Introduction to… Carl Chudyk!

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GAMES NEWS! 04/11/19

Getting gotted, Mermaid Pipes, Are we just dicing in the dark, goths in a box

Quinns: Ava, before we get started on the news, I have to tell somebody. I had the most fabulous time playing Don’t Get Got last night.

Ava: Oh yeah?

Quinns: Oh my goodness. The paranoia. The guile. The outraged howls outside the pub when I managed to win just before we all went home by getting another player to say “I love you.” It was exactly like someone scoring a goal in the closing seconds of the match.

Read moreGAMES NEWS! 04/11/19

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Review: Bärenpark – The Bad News Bears

Professor Dinosaur, genuinely grizzled features, can i hibernate now please

While Quintin takes a couple of weeks off, Matt dives into a world of BEARYTALE IMAGINATION. There’s no-one else here to keep an eye on things, so the gloves are fully off when it comes to awful puns.

Expanding upon the legacy of Barenpark with bigger, badder bears and beautiful 3D monorails – this expansion certainly fills a box that’s almost the same size as the basic game, but can The Bad News Bears fill the same size in our massive, empty hearts?

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Card Games That Don’t Suck: Bourré

Baller birbs, NBA big money, shootin hoops winnin scoops, please be careful this game is terrifying

This week, our series on the best games that you can play with a 52 card deck gets WILD. Bourré is the most outrageous gambling game that you’ve never heard of. It has heaps of suave cardplay, and features not just the lure of winning money, but the striking threat of losing it. It’s smart, … Read more

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