Games News! 06/03/2017

Quinns: Hello everybody! So glad you could meet me here, at the Games News pub. It’s my round! Who’s for a pint of news? [points at you] News and soda, was it?

It’s happy hour, so we’re going to start out with a double news on the rocks. The nonsense-mongers at Hasbro have just unveiled two new games. Speak Out: Kids vs Parents is a familial evolution of their game Speak Out, both of which feature your team trying to work out what the hell you’re saying while you wear a dentist’s cheek retractor.

Doesn’t that sound like a game we’d make up as part of a skit? I can only approve that Hasbro has made it a reality.

The press image for it (above) is freaking me out, though. The combination of Habro’s clean-cut toy photography (which has always looked a little “uncanny valley” to me) with rictus grins is absolutely terrifying. Imagine coming downstairs and finding them in your living room. “WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME,” bleats the mother, spraying spit across the room.

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GAMES NEWS! 27/02/17

Quinns: Good morning sweet shut-upsters! Today is the start of a very solitary couple of weeks on the site. Paul and Matt have gone overseas to run our board game lounge at the yearly Game Developer’s Conference, and then they’re making a top-secret visit to a board game publisher. Like a lighthouse keeper I will be maintaining a lonely vigilAnd maybe talking to myself and going a bit mad. We’ll see.

Speaking of maddening things, our top story this week is the above header image that was tweeted by BoardGameGeek. Looks boring, eh? WELL, you’re actually looking at a prototype of Monolith’s next project, Batman: The Board Game, and judging from the dice and stamina crystals it’ll be an evolution of Conan, a miniatures game that this site loved to pieces.

This adaptation makes perfect sense! Conan’s brutal choreography and breathless heroism would be perfect for Batman. But there’s a problem that has me finding this announcement to be bittersweet.

Monolith’s Kickstarters for Conan ($3.3 million) and then Mythic Battles ($2.6 million) have shown that they know how to run an exciting Kickstarter. Clearly, the page for Batman is going to make millions of dollars. But in addition to the sexism that’s run across their games like an oil spill, in this pundit’s opinion Monolith’s been botching the post-release support that I’ve come to expect from expensive games.

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GAMES NEWS! 20/02/17

Paul: My goodness! We start the news this week with the continuing success story of Vlaada Chvátil and Czech Games. Two new, licensed versions of Codenames have been announced, themed around Marvel and Disney. Surprised?

I can’t say I’m ever likely to buy or play either of them, nor that I’m at all invested in the worlds of either of these entertainment giants, but I do see this as a wonderful way to bring different kinds of licensed games to more players, particularly families, beyond another bloody Monopoly, as well as for Czech Games to earn more well-deserved cash. If someone tells me, in twenty years, that they got into board games through trying to interpret obscure clues about Frozen characters, I’m going to be okay with that.

Okay, hold on, there is also comic potential here. I’m sure there’s all sorts of hilarious clues you can give if you want people to guess both a talking candlestick and a singing elephant, or something slightly sassy you can say about Spider-Man, Victoria Hand and Captain America. Maybe? I don’t actually know anything about comics. Is Garfield DC or Marvel?

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GAMES NEWS! 13/02/17

Paul: Good Monday to you, dear readers. Please, take a seat, take a break, take pause and taaaaake me to the magic of the moment. On a glooooory night.

How appropriate that, while Quinns takes a well-earned break on an unusual and unique Mediterranean island that I am not going to disclose the name of, I’m ready to tell you all about Valletta, a terrifically tempting game of jaunty hats.

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GAMES NEWS! 06/02/17

Quinns: Paul, I need an ambulance!

Paul: Are you dying?

Quinns: Even better! Remember my positive review of Quadropolis (pictured above)? Days of Wonder has just announced the first expansion for it. Quadropolis: Public Services will see a selection of buildings laid out between rounds like a concrete chocolate box, and whether you select a fire station or get stuck with a convention centre, it’ll change how you score.

Paul: Quinns, I’m just going to stop you there. We’re going to go LIVE to this site’s resident Quadropolis expert for some analysis.

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GAMES NEWS! 30/01/17

Quinns: Oh my god, Paul, it’s awful. Did you seen the news over the weekend?

Paul: I did. What’s the world coming to?

Quinns: I don’t know, but I know we can’t stand for it.

Paul: You think so? I had no idea you felt so strongly about Reiner Knizia’s Ingenious being renamed AXIO Hexagonal.

Quinns: …Paul, did you turn on the TV over the weekend?

Paul: No, I got the weirdest feeling that it would be rather like blasting a jet of pure sadness square at my own face.

Quinns: Right. Yes.

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GAMES NEWS! 23/01/17

Quinns: Good morning, Paul! Ready for Games News? How are you feeling today? Rambunctious? Meticulous? Corrugated?

Paul: No, no. Dispirited. Crenelated. Crepuscular. My prandicle is absquatulate.

Quinns: Good God, that’s our SEO ruined, for sure. Perhaps you’ll be emboldened by THIS wonderful news. SHERLOCK HOLMES CONSULTING DETECTIVE IS GETTING SWOLE because the first(?!) standalone expansion is ALMOST HERE

Paul: OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO EXPLODE

Quinns: HAVE YOU FINISHED THE ORIGINAL TEN CASES YET

Paul: NO

Quinns: ME EITHER

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GAMES NEWS! 16/01/17

Quinns: Huddle up, friends. Here we are in the depths of winter with nothing more to burn than the castoff cardboard frames from which we punch our tokens. It is cold and it is dark.

Paul: Yet the warm heart of Shut Up & Sit Down beats strong, emboldened by the news of games to come. This week we’re going to tell you about PRINCESSES and SPICES and AN EXPANSION FOR CAPTAIN SONAR. 2017 is already up to speed and it’s looking glorious. Which one thing are you most excited about?

Quinns: Yes! Do leave a comment below. Share your youth and vigor with us old men.

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GAMES NEWS! 09/01/17

Quinns: Please, everyone, take your places, fasten your seatbelts and keep your hands INSIDE THE VEHICLE AT ALL TIMES as we welcome you to a brand new year of board gaming, a year that promises to be a WILD RIDE.

Paul: Good morning! Good afternoon! Hello! Happy New Year! The Games News has been building up like snow over the holidays and we’ve been doing our very best to clear it, shoveling the path and salting the drive. Nevertheless, it’s impossible to avoid slipping on some exciting new gossip or falling face-first into a pile of previews. Let’s get right into things by talking about… oh no.

Robo Rally.

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GAMES NEWS! 12/12/16

Paul: Attention please, passengers! Now arriving at platform two is this week’s Games News, stopping at High Fantasy, Kickstarter Reflections and Wargaming Central. A light buffet service of links will be available throughout the trip and free wifi is offered for your convenience.

Quinns: Paul I have trapped my coat in the carriage door.

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