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Dumb Games, or "Why I Sometimes Yearn To Punch You"

Or "The steady self-destruction of an Irish boy" take your pick

By Brendan Caldwell on Oct. 7, 2015

[Brendan returns! The author of Rooky Errors: A Story of Chess and The Correct Way to Scratch is back, this time talking about Dumb Games. Enjoy, everyone.]

“Did you ever play ‘Butt Comin’ at Ye’?” said Colly. We were walking through Lurgan, my hometown, and we had begun to talk about some of the more esoteric memories of our shared childhood. Fifty metres away, the town’s police station rose like a fortress out of the street, surrounded in green sheets of amoured metal, steel grates and breezeblock walls the colour of the Irish sky. We walked on past it.

“Butt comin’ at ye?” I said.

“Dave and I used to play it. You finish smoking your cigarette and you say ‘here Dave, butt comin’ at ye’ and then you just…”

He mimed flicking a cigarette. I laughed.

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Games News! 05/10/15

lungslimbsbeakspokey continentsspinning surgeons

By SU&SD on Oct. 5, 2015

Paul: Quinns hello Quinns good morning Quinns have you seen? There’s a few interesting things that came in the Games News Sack this morning.

Quinns: That’s not the “Games News Sack”, Paul, that’s the postman’s bag.

Paul: Well he won’t be needing it any more. The important thing is that we’ve got the Games News today. As well as everyone else’s mail. And a few spare, loose limbs.

Quinns: Okay then. I guess now is as good a time as any to start telling people about Tail Feathers! A new skirmish game from Plaid Hat arriving in just a few months that combines Mice & Mystics with the X-Wing Miniatures game.

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Review: Ashes: Rise of the Phoenixborn

newton's prisonshoe precipitationa few couple of dice

By Paul Dean on Oct. 2, 2015

This week, Paul takes a trip to the clinic, as a result of looking at another new title from Plaid Hat Games. To everyone's surprise, he finds himself deckbuilding with Ashes: Rise of the Phoenixborn. Deckbuilding! Whatever will happen next?

Seriously, what will happen next? Paul's been unable to get hold of Quinns since setting up the North American office and now he's acting a little out of character.


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Review: Evolution & the Flight Expansion

rise of the planet of the chicken nuggetsarousal of the birds from outer space

By SU&SD on Sept. 30, 2015

Matt: I’m a robust bird looking to nest who is terrified of fat carnivores, looking to meet someone with a GSOH and wait this isn’t OK Cupid

Quinns: No, you silly goose! It’s a review of Evolution, the new game from North Star Games that is about evolution.

Evolution starts with 2-6 players being given control of their very own bouncing baby bit of cardboard, tracking the only two features a parent should care about: POPULATION and BODY SIZE. Each turn players receive cards depicting new evolutionary traits, you all play one to contribute to the food on the Watering Hole, and you play the rest onto your species, either as the traits they depict or to increase that species’ population or size, or you can burn cards to create whole new species.

And that’s the entire game! With these wonderfully simple rules, you’re off to the races. Although at these races we’ll simultaneously be betting on horses and praying our favourite horse doesn’t get eaten by another horse.

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Games News! 28/09/15

vampire trainshelicopter dicetable regurgitationsmind sports

By Quintin Smith on Sept. 28, 2015

Quinns: Welcome to the NEWS!

Never mind the jokes and reviews. The NEWS is what you come to this site for for, isn’t it? A great sluice-tube of consumer information, poking through your window and filling your life with piping hot knowledge. Praise be to NEWS.

Today’s first NEWS is that the latest map pack for Ticket to Ride is now available for pre-order, and will add new United Kingdom and Pennsylvania boards to the train-placement smash hit. As always with Ticket to Ride map packs, the new boards each boast new rules. The UK will feature technology upgrades, while Pennsylvania gets stocks and shares.

“This is boll****,” UK Prime Minister David Cameron was heard to have said upon hearing the news. “We waited 11 years to be included in Ticket to Ride, and we’re bundled with Pennsylvania? I don’t even know where that is. Nobody does.”

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Tips for the Top 5 Problem Players

comedy fasciststhe eastenders board gamehe's like an unbearably zen dan

By Quintin Smith on Sept. 25, 2015

Recently we tweeted asking which "problem players" you struggle with on a game night, and we've never seen a response like it. Our grumpometer actually shattered and we had to send Matt out for a new one.

Clearly you guys could do with a helping hand, so to go along with our Tips for Rules Explanations and An Intro to Board Gaming For Your Friends, we now have this! With a little help from us you'll be cool as a cucumber.


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Miniatures Game Review: Malifaux

railway golemssexy sombreroscool zombiescheatingunderwear

By SU&SD on Sept. 23, 2015

[Our tour of the most popular miniatures games is almost at an end! If you missed Eric Tonjes' first few delightful and accessible reviews, do check out Infinity, Warmachine and Dropzone Commander.]

Eric: I'll start with a confession. Every month, as I sit down to write this column, I feel a dilemma. Miniatures games are, of course, games. Part of the goal of these columns is to expose you to clever or innovative gaming ideas being developed in the miniatures world. Thanks to limits on space and the amount of time I'm comfortable demanding, I end up exploring the gamishness of the game and have little space for anything else.

Yet miniatures games are also more than simple games, and none exemplify this better than Malifaux, our pick for this month. They are, in a real sense, about style. You don't spend outrageous amounts of time and money on little models just for the act of gaming – you could use cardboard tokens and cereal boxes with their rules. You buy and assemble and paint the models and build the terrain and read the lore for the same reason I own aviators and a (fake) leather jacket – because you want to feel cool. You want some panache and style with your dice rolls and movement decisions.

If that is true, then Malifaux by Wyrd miniatures is the coolest of the cool kids. It drips theme – a theme that is something like Western-Gothic-Industrial-Steampunk-Horror.

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Games News! 21/09/15

my fingers hurt from counting to 5 so many times

By Quintin Smith on Sept. 21, 2015

Quinns: Haikus! Like poems that went through a trash compactor. I think they're awesome, and have decided to write this week's Games News entirely in haiku form.

If you think you can do better than any of these, pop your entry in the comments! I'll pick a winner to go beside my own poems and inevitably outshine them.

Stronghold's back again
A game of deadly sieges
Enduring the years

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