From the back of the book: You are a dark elf. You have sworn in blood and sacred shadow to destroy your oppressors, the aelfir – high elves from the frozen north who have claimed your homeland as their own. Spire is a mile-high metropolis and you hide in its crumbling temples, its lawless undercity, … Read more
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Tom: Good morning! Or if it isn’t morning for you, make it morning! Sort yourself a coffee and some toast, brush your teeth and get commuting! Sure, work might be closed in your part of the world, but you can dream! Slam three pints and dunk your head into ice-water to simulate a crippling hangover, curl up into a ball and dream of childhood; an infant devoid of responsibility, where mornings presented an opportunity to seize joy in your cherubic fists rather than a procession of endlessly disappointing starts, ends and responsibilities; where work is said to not be the point of life but its spectre drips over each mortal interaction until the end. Eat some cereal!
On Wednesday (or Thursday) you can expect a review from Quinns – a review… of something that isn’t even a board game! Absolutely repellent. If I see anything that isn’t a board game these days I become violently ill. I sleep on a bed of Memoir ‘44 and shower in a stream of wooden cubes.
Thursday will be a stream! We’re hammering out the times but you can expect an AvaStream! A potter around in the high-stakes Scrabblin’ of Babble Royale! We’ll secrete a tweet when we’re ready to go on the Twitch. Either that or I’ll be streaming more Teardown? Goodness this is disorganised – I might as well have just written ‘something is happening on Thursday’.
Something is Happening on Friday. It will be a podcast, where myself and Matt and Ava will be talking about Founders of Teotihuacan and Khora: Rise of an Empire! Both quite dry games and we were all slightly delirious when we recorded it – so that’s fun. And that’s this week on Shut Up & Sit Down! Lots to look forward to from all members of the team, there.
What are you looking forward to this week, everyone? Or what did you get up to? I don’t make the rules.
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In this themeless episode of the Shut Up & Sit Down Podcast, Quinns and Tom are talking about two of the driest games that they’ve ever been smitten with. First up is the Austrian Rail Simulation of Imperial Steam, followed by a dessert of semi-colonial discover-em-up The Guild of Merchant Explorers. Enjoy!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
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Ava: Well look at that! It’s an Ava video. This cathedral of content has been in preparation for several generations now, and it’s finally here. Biblios: Quill and Parchment is a recent release from Dr Finn’s games that I was able to pick up and try at PAX Unplugged. It was the perfect excuse to talk about one of my top card games of all time, the original Biblios! So here is a double review that definitely shows no signs of me biting off more than I can chew.
A whole world of monk tracks and illuminations are right there waiting for you. Except Biblios might not entirely be in print right now, sorry! There’s suggestions for games to keep you going at the end though, I promise.
Also, I realised while writing this script that I can just say ‘Matt make me a trailer for an imaginary cinematic universe’ and he just HAS to do it. And because he’s Matt he’ll also put approximately ten thousand times the required effort into it. Brilliant. Even when I’m still learning the ropes, this job is lovely. Thanks audience for keeping me in work!
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A “roll and write” version of the popular Biblios. The life of a monastic scribe is not easy. Every day you spend long hours in the monastery copying books, praying, and performing tasks. Through hard work and prayer, earn the abbot’s trust and display your dedication to the pious life. The object of the game … Read more
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Tom: Congratulations, reader! You are the 1,00… th… reader of the Shut Up & Sit Down Monday Post! The prize, of course, was in your heart all along! A scalpel and a vacuum cleaner are in the post. But what other treats can you folks look forward to in the meantime?
Wednesday bears the fruit of the oft-delayed, mythologised Ava review – arriving after a long period of Matt chipping away in the After Effects mines. ‘This is maybe the best thing I’ve ever done!’ he cries from the depths. We solemnly nod along, knowing well he is lost forever.
Thursday stream! We’re playing more Teardown! Stream will be on the Twitch sometime in the ‘English Afternoon’ – a period of time that occurs after a second cup of coffee but before kissing the Queen goodnight.
Friday is pod-day, and Tom and Quinns have kind words to say about Imperial Steam and The Guild of Merchant Explorers. Good luck keeping those titles in your head for the rest of the day, let alone the rest of the week!
And that’s all for this week! I’ve managed to grievously injure my finger in an act of Aubergine Revenge, so this entire post was typed with my ‘non-dominant’ fingers, or, if you’d rather, my submissive fingers *eyes emoji*. I’ve lost a lot of blood.
Week! Everybody up to what’s goinn onnnnnn….?
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In this marauding episode of the Shut Up & Sit Down Podcast, Tom and Ava have been let loose on games once again. Someone stop them.
First up, we’ve got some disclaimer-laden chats about Root’s latest Marauder expansion, followed by some hot-off-the-(im)press(ions) of Little Factory – the latest edition to the Little™ Expanded Universe. We also have a brief chat about Tom’s obsession over Knotwords and other Word(le) games at the end!
Have a great weekend, everybody!
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THE GAME CONCEPT You are an abbot of a medieval monastery competing with other abbots to amass the greatest library of sacred books. To do so, you need to have both the workers and resources to run a well-functioning scriptorium. To acquire workers and resources, you use a limited supply of donated gold. In addition, … Read more
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Tom: Hello and welcome to another episode of This Week On Shut Up & Sit Down! There are three doors in front of you, and only one contains a prize!! Just kidding, just a little joke, just a bit of joshing between pals; they all have prizes, and zero goats.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) I’ll be doing streaming more Teardown in the afternoon – you can find that over on the Twitch channel for some incredibly poorly planned heists. I’m loving it so far, so please do come say hi and give me more terrible ideas for what to do with explosives.
On Thursday, it’s video day! You can expect another outstanding performance from Ava Foxfort in a searing hot double-review! This, of course, will be a review of the other B-Based game as alluded to in last week’s post. And like a cardboard Carol Vorderman I will reveal another letter…. it’s an S! Tune in next week for another sweet drop.
Matt: You’ve somehow managed to misunderstand both Countdown and our website in just two sentences.
Tom: And on Friday, as always, we’re podcastin’. Tom and Quinns are going to talk about whatever they end up playing on Thursday – who knows what that’ll be! Find out then for a nice surprise.
Until then, have a great week! I’m enjoying my bank holiday Monday playing some Knotwords and writing this post on the sofa. I have become truly decadent with a cheap keyboard and a trusty Steam Link. What have you been up to, everybody?
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In this meager episode of the Shut Up & Sit Down podcast, Tom and Matt are talking about three whole boxes with games inside of them!! First up is MAGIC BINGO, also known as Via Magica – a game of wizards and crystals that your (imaginary) family might enjoy. We then talk about the disasterous urban planning of Next Station: London, before getting thoroughly confused by Cryptid: Urban Legends. Finally, we take a trip to the forbidden zone to chat about Square Valley – a delightful little mobile game that is… ‘Quite Boardgames’.
Have a great weekend, everybody!
Tap below for full timestamps and more info!
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